The PSC Make-A-Wish Foundation!

[OpeningMyHeartUp]

I wish there was a secure video sharing platform that did not collect metadata on all the viewers.

Sure thing! Unfortunately, the subscription is way out of your price range.

I wish I could change my haircut whenever I wanted, instantly and free of charge.

Granted! And it also comes with instant (and permanent) rainbow coloring!

I wish there was a secure, safe, and pleasant way to meet my pedo brothers and sisters.

[Dreampunk]

Granted! And it also comes with instant (and permanent) rainbow coloring!

That's actually a bonus, not a downside

I wish there was a secure, safe, and pleasant way to meet my pedo brothers and sisters.

In your dreams, baby!

I wish for a "pet turtle", Stephen King's It's style!

[boplicity]

I wish there was a secure, safe, and pleasant way to meet my pedo brothers and sisters.

In your dreams, baby!

As I don't think this is quite a justified ruining of the wish, I'll do another. Granted! However, you can't convince any of the other pedophiles that it is safe and you aren't a fed, so looks like you won't be able to use that opportunity after all.

As you were.

[nyarla]

Wow, that was very Great Old One-ish!

Oh thank you, I always try to be closer to humans when I communicate with them, glad I manage to get to Great Old One level this time, much closer to human than my Outer God existence.

And what luck! You find a way to get every game for free! Too bad the Shipping & Handling breaks your bank.

No problem PSN is an online service, there ain't no hard copy to be delivered...purchases are just download into the console, or stay saved in the library to be download when I wish.

I wish for a "pet turtle", Stephen King's It's style!

Note: Going to be very nerdy now and reference the joint literally world of Stephen King. Your fault for mentioning "It" turtle.

Okay your friendship with the great turtle Maturin, put's you in the path of KA and the white and us such you go against the will of the red....soon you find yourself in opposition to The Man in Black (A.K.A Walter O'dim), who's character was actually inspired ( or is an interpretation of; if wikipedia is to be believed) me! So yeah you basically now dealing with Stephen Kings version of the Crawling Chaos, good luck dealing with that shit. Free tip beware of dogs and girls who suffer bullying.

I wish I could read faster so I could read more books in the time I read just one.

[OpeningMyHeartUp]

Wow, that was very Great Old One-ish!

Oh thank you, I always try to be closer to humans when I communicate with them, glad I manage to get to Great Old One level this time, much closer to human than my Outer God existence.

And what luck! You find a way to get every game for free! Too bad the Shipping & Handling breaks your bank.

No problem PSN is an online service, there ain't no hard copy to be delivered...purchases are just download into the console, or stay saved in the library to be download when I wish.

I wish for a "pet turtle", Stephen King's It's style!

Note: Going to be very nerdy now and reference the joint literally world of Stephen King. Your fault for mentioning "It" turtle.

Okay your friendship with the great turtle Maturin, put's you in the path of KA and the white and us such you go against the will of the red....soon you find yourself in opposition to The Man in Black (A.K.A Walter O'dim), who's character was actually inspired ( or is an interpretation of; if wikipedia is to be believed) me! So yeah you basically now dealing with Stephen Kings version of the Crawling Chaos, good luck dealing with that shit. Free tip beware of dogs and girls who suffer bullying.

I wish I could read faster so I could read more books in the time I read just one.

First of all, its wonderful to meet another Kingophile!

Second, this is a wish I will happily grant, the shame of it is, you don't remember a single thing about the books you've read once you've read the final word.

Now... I wish I could develop the "super sanity" that my favorite comic villain, The Joker, possesses.

Find a way to screw this one up!

[nyarla]

First of all, its wonderful to meet another Kingophile!

Long days and pleasant nights my friend, I do indeed have a great passion for the macabre literature of good old Stephen.

[WishIHaveOne]

Now... I wish I could develop the "super sanity" that my favorite comic villain, The Joker, possesses.

Granted, but you're killed by Batman!

Find a way to screw this one up!

Just did! 
I don't see what's the difficulty in this!
Unless you're talking another Joker!? 

I wish that ALL the little boys and girls in the whole wide world grow up safely, healthily, happily, smoothly, wonderfully, molested-free-ly!
You're heartless if you ruin this wish!
Bad gay! Bad gay! Bad gay! Bad gay! Bad gay! Bad gay!   

[littlepolly]

I wish that ALL the little boys and girls in the whole wide world grow up safely, healthily, happily, smoothly, wonderfully, molested-free-ly!
You're heartless if you ruin this wish!

That fine day does come, but you don't live to see it, having died in prison for trying to push the idea before its time.
(Molesting is not something many of us think of as being a good thing, as it implies doing something against anothers will, a violation. Loving sexual relations with a child is not molestation. So I answered as if you meant loved-free-ly.)

I wish I had more time in my day and the energy to enjoy it.

[WishIHaveOne]

I wish that ALL the little boys and girls in the whole wide world grow up safely, healthily, happily, smoothly, wonderfully, molested-free-ly!
You're heartless if you ruin this wish!

That fine day does come, but you don't live to see it, having died in prison for trying to push the idea before its time.
(Molesting is not something many of us think of as being a good thing, as it implies doing something against anothers will, a violation. Loving sexual relations with a child is not molestation. So I answered as if you meant loved-free-ly.)

I wish I had more time in my day and the energy to enjoy it.

Whoops! My pool English had cause me trouble again!!! 
What I mean by "molested-free-ly" is "free of molestation", "never get molested"!
NOT "freely get molested"!!! 

[boplicity]

Whoops! My pool English had cause me trouble again!!! 

Don't worry, it was quite understandable that you were trying to make the adverb of 'molested-free', but it was a funny way of going about it that could confuse some people. The phrase 'and without being molested' would work better, as 'without -ing' phrases work like adverbs.

[virtuouslibertine]

I wish that ALL the little boys and girls in the whole wide world grow up safely, healthily, happily, smoothly, wonderfully, molested-free-ly!
You're heartless if you ruin this wish!

That fine day does come, but you don't live to see it, having died in prison for trying to push the idea before its time.
(Molesting is not something many of us think of as being a good thing, as it implies doing something against anothers will, a violation. Loving sexual relations with a child is not molestation. So I answered as if you meant loved-free-ly.)

I wish I had more time in my day and the energy to enjoy it.

Your wish has been granted, but you have so much energy you can no longer sleep and you spend the rest of your time on Earth awake. Do you get bored, or do you find something to occupy your time?

I wish I didn't have to live in fear.

[OpeningMyHeartUp]

I wish that ALL the little boys and girls in the whole wide world grow up safely, healthily, happily, smoothly, wonderfully, molested-free-ly!
You're heartless if you ruin this wish!

That fine day does come, but you don't live to see it, having died in prison for trying to push the idea before its time.
(Molesting is not something many of us think of as being a good thing, as it implies doing something against anothers will, a violation. Loving sexual relations with a child is not molestation. So I answered as if you meant loved-free-ly.)

I wish I had more time in my day and the energy to enjoy it.

Your wish has been granted, but you have so much energy you can no longer sleep and you spend the rest of your time on Earth awake. Do you get bored, or do you find something to occupy your time?

I wish I didn't have to live in fear.

Wish granted! You live the rest of your life without fear, you Suicidal, Homicidal Maniac, you! Might as well start calling you Sabu! Thing is, Sabu still possessed enough sense not to play chicken with a Peterbilt. While on bare feet. On Arizona summer asphalt.

I wish I could touch my inner child.

[StevenX]

Granted. You touch your inner child. He backs away slowly and calls the inner police.

I wish that I could transform into a cat but retain my human intelligence.

[Gaki]

I wish that I could transform into a cat but retain my human intelligence.

Granted, but you are deemed a stray, placed in an animal shelter and euthanized in 7 days.

I wish little ones could understand some of the issues we adults face without being jaded by adult troubles.

o.0

[OpeningMyHeartUp]

I wish that I could transform into a cat but retain my human intelligence.

Granted, but you are deemed a stray, placed in an animal shelter and euthanized in 7 days.

I wish little ones could understand some of the issues we adults face without being jaded by adult troubles.

o.0

Your wish is granted! Its revealed to you that they understand more than we ever thought, and absolutely howl with laughter in private at how badly we things up.

I wish I could eat just one.