Where did you first find CP?

[stalker]

yeah i won't ever do it again lol. it's such a huge risk to take for only a lil fun. and i never included my face in anything ever, thankfully, but that was honestly more because i was scared of being blackmailed or something haha

Yeah, such things happen too...

i don't know if my experiences are to blame or my early introduction to sexual stuff, but i've always been very hypersexual and needed some sort of outlet for it. obviously when you mix that with the attention, priase, and the rush of sending nudes in the first place, especially illegally, it creates a recipe for a good time :33

I know something about it I was very hypersexual as a boy too, more than other boys. I don't know why, I just was. That's why I regret not having a camera back then lol. When were you introduced to the sexual stuff?

i think my problem is that i find it really hard to not connect with people when i'm talking to them (if that makes sense). i enjoy knowing who i'm talking to and making it personal and enjoyable, but that's just something i seriously cant do on places like this or with people like you and that upsets me a little bit tbh. but yeah, i'm slowly but surely learning about opsec

Me too. I'd love to share some things about me here, but I just don't, because you know... we have to remember where we are. Everyone is a cop

welllll i can't speak for everyone but believe me, i know hehee <333

Enjoy it while it lasts

[oxycodone]

I know something about it :) I was very hypersexual as a boy too, more than other boys. I don't know why, I just was. That's why I regret not having a camera back then lol. When were you introduced to the sexual stuff?

i wonder if every pedo is hypersexual in some way. i'm so grateful for having a phone, camera, and unrestricted internet access my whole life :))

i first saw porn when i was like 7 because i clicked an ad on youtube that led to even more ads, which i kept clicking. eventuallly it led to a cam site like chaturbate or stripchat (idk which one). first time ever seeing anything even remotely sexual, so it was a pretty big leap from innocence lmao :3

my first irl experience was with my uncle when i was either 9 or 10, but that was just hands and mouth stuff, never anything hardcore.

Enjoy it while it lasts :D

thank you! :3, i plan to :D

[stalker]

i wonder if every pedo is hypersexual in some way.

Probably not People are very different here. But I never thought about it Many had something going on in their childhoods that shaped them this way, others don't recall anything like that and it seems they were just born this way. On another forum there was a poll about "what do you think caused your pedophilia", the winning answer was "fuck knows"

So you're a pedo, and you're still active with older guys? Or you haven't figured out your sexuality yet? What's your age of attraction?

For me sexuality was always an emotional outlet of some sort, even when I was like 10.

i'm so grateful for having a phone, camera, and unrestricted internet access my whole life )

Sweet :3

I remember when I bought my first webcam. But I was too old even for my current tastes then But they differ between boys and girls. I think I was 18 or something, girls at 18 can still be hot (even if it's a different kind of hot than when we're thinking 9, and still different from say 12-13), with boys at around 15 I start to lose interest. They become too masculine. If they're femboys then I can be attracted to them as high as 23 (the same with girls, even if my absolutely best age range is 12-13).

But looking at some (innocent, clothed) pictures of me from my childhood, I'd love to see this boy again, naked. He felt very lonely at this age, could use some of my current attention lol.

i first saw porn when i was like 7 because i clicked an ad on youtube that led to even more ads, which i kept clicking. eventuallly it led to a cam site like chaturbate or stripchat (idk which one). first time ever seeing anything even remotely sexual, so it was a pretty big leap from innocence lmao :3

Wow nice, and probably a very intense experience. I don't think I saw anything sexual at this age. My first contact with (adult) porn was at 9. Do you think it affected you and your current sexuality?

my first irl experience was with my uncle when i was either 9 or 10, but that was just hands and mouth stuff, never anything hardcore.

You don't regret it? You felt loved and desired, or rather used? Or both?

And why are you oxycodone?

[oxycodone]

this is getting pretty long haha :3

Probably not :) People are very different here. On another forum there was a poll about "what do you think caused your pedophilia", the winning answer was "fuck knows" :D

oh fair enough, that makes more sense than what i was thinking lol.

So you're a pedo, and you're still active with older guys? Or you haven't figured out your sexuality yet? What's your age of attraction? :D

yep im attracted to pretty much everyone, young, old, man, woman, boy, girl, everyone :3 and yeah im still in some relationships with older guys (most online, one irl) and theyre between like around 20 to 50 (roughly)

I remember when I bought my first webcam. But I was too old even for my current tastes then :D But they differ between boys and girls. I think I was 18 or something, girls at 18 can still be hot (even if it's a different kind of hot than when we're thinking 9, and still different from say 12-13), with boys at around 15 I start to lose interest. They become too masculine. If they're femboys then I can be attracted to them as high as 23 (the same with girls, even if my absolutely best age range is 12-13).

ahh cool! you've figured your stuff out a lot more thorough than me haha. i agree there is different kinds of "hot", and i think all of them are awesome :). i also think femboys are so adorable i would love to get with one someday <33

But looking at some (innocent, clothed) pictures of me from my childhood, I'd love to see this boy again, naked. He felt very lonely at this age, could use some of my current attention lol.

that would be a dream come true for so many of us haha, being able to physically meet our younger selfs. im actually gonna be fantasizing about that for the rest of today now lmao thanks :)). i have everything ive every sent anyone saved so i have a hugeee archive of self made cp hehe:p

Wow nice, and probably a very intense experience. I don't think I saw anything sexual at this age. My first contact with (adult) porn was at 9. Do you think it affected you and your current sexuality? ... You don't regret it? You felt loved and desired, or rather used? Or both?

it was for sure intense. pretty much went straight into the deep end lol. seeing that 100% made me a lot more sexually curious/interested as a whole and led me down this path.

and no, my relationship with my uncle was amazing, nothing to regret at all. it was passionate, loving, caring, and honest. i loved it and i love him. he taught me things, made me feel special and overall he was a genuinely nice man, so yeah, no reget or feeling used at all.

And why are you oxycodone? :)

i had a similar name a while ago for my gaming accounts but got banned because they were "inappropriate" and i thought that was really funny, so now i use oxycodone haha <3 what about you lol, why @stalker?

[zergrush111]

Honesly fairly recently on discord. I remember watching a youtube video about discord having a CP "problem" and in it the guy talked about servers and group chats where people shared around this stuff and I ended up joining some and started my online journey there :3

Obviously, this is a reallyyy stupid thing to do over discord and I've since deleted all traces I can between myself and that digital identity and spent time learning OPSEC, but yeah, that was my first time seeing it lol (unless you count sending nudes as a kid to other kids, then i've been doing that since i was 11 :p )

When i was doing random porn related stuff i was on several occasions invited to discords which had shitloads of cp on it. Obviously i used a fake account and used another connection over a vpn paid for with monero but it still baffled me. There is a lot of dudes out there that just...dont take this seriously. Its so weird, like do they realize the level of pain they will be in if they get caught? I would try to explain it to them and they would just send me more in a mocking way. There is way better apps out there, why use discord of all apps? Might as well use facebook at that point. Linkin? Wouldnt surprise me.

Also with sending nudes to other kids. As someone who once claimed to be a kid online to do that, theres a very high chance those "kids" were a decade or two older than they said they were lol

i wonder if every pedo is hypersexual in some way. i'm so grateful for having a phone, camera, and unrestricted internet access my whole life )

i first saw porn when i was like 7 because i clicked an ad on youtube that led to even more ads, which i kept clicking. eventually it led to a cam site like chaturbate or stripchat (idk which one). first time ever seeing anything even remotely sexual, so it was a pretty big leap from innocence lmao :3

Less hypersexual, but for sure something majorly lacking in their lives that makes them act out with extreme sexual stuff to compensate. Ive been trying to find some sort of similarity among the probably hundreds of pedos ive talked to over a decade and the thing ive noticed is they come from rough backgrounds. Not to say they are poverty stricken, but like backgrounds where their parents didn't love them, loved them too much, and/or was just flat out dysfunctional and then they furthermore dealt with disproportionate trauma. When I was young the pedo was a monster, but as I got older I started to realize the pedo is actually a very broken, usually traumatized individual who even in a relationship feels alone and neglected. I don't think hypersexuality comes naturally and im sure there are studies that could show this. I am going off anecdotes here. I also think a lot of it from what ive seen is extreme porn addiction from a young age, you even touched on it a little bit saying you first got exposed to, and possibly watching, porn at the age of 7.

Theres things a human being needs in life that when you don't get it it triggers odd things in their brains, which are built for survival. For some it might be sociopathy, for others its pedophilia. Either way each doomscroll for porn or cruising for sex is just calling out for a need to be loved and wanted and to feel safe. Something that is very difficult if you are like this. Theres some people out there who I bet could have become pedos, and just didn't because they didn't have the life triggers to create it.

Lucky them.

[stalker]

this is getting pretty long haha :3

Sometimes messages get long if people are interesting

oh fair enough, that makes more sense than what i was thinking lol.

For example I don't think I had any such experiences as a child. But I don't remember much of my childhood anyway so who knows. Looking back I think at 9 I had all traits of a molested child.

yep im attracted to pretty much everyone, young, old, man, woman, boy, girl, everyone :3 and yeah im still in some relationships with older guys (most online, one irl) and theyre between like around 20 to 50 (roughly)

Wide age range! They're like daddies to you? Or is it something different?

My attractions are simpler

ahh cool! you've figured your stuff out a lot more thorough than me haha.

I probably had more time At your age (roughly as I don't know your exact age, and I won't ask) I was very confused with what I'm attracted to. But it was always someone younger than me, or at most my age. Even at 10 I had a crush with a 7 year old boy.

i agree there is different kinds of "hot", and i think all of them are awesome .

That's true For me these 13 year old girls, crushes, just feel more raw, like they are able to touch the very core of my soul. Older girls are just, idk, also hot, but the older they get, the less I'm able to connect with them and it affects how I perceive them sexually. Plus they start to mature, develop, and mature bodies, big breasts, butts, are a meeeeh nooo.

i also think femboys are so adorable i would love to get with one someday <33

They are But it makes more sense to me as I'm attracted to femininity. You're attracted both to femininity and masculinity? Or you don't know yet?

that would be a dream come true for so many of us haha, being able to physically meet our younger selfs. im actually gonna be fantasizing about that for the rest of today now lmao thanks ). i have everything ive every sent anyone saved so i have a hugeee archive of self made cp hehe:p

Now I envy you even more I'd love to have such stash of me. It's different if it's some random person and different if it's you. Plus it's different if it's some random person and different if it's someone you know

Just be careful, encrypt it, you don't want it to fall into wrong hands...

it was for sure intense. pretty much went straight into the deep end lol. seeing that 100% made me a lot more sexually curious/interested as a whole and led me down this path.

Well sexuality is something very very intense and strong. One of our strongest driving forces.

and no, my relationship with my uncle was amazing, nothing to regret at all. it was passionate, loving, caring, and honest. i loved it and i love him. he taught me things, made me feel special and overall he was a genuinely nice man, so yeah, no reget or feeling used at all.

You don't know how much I'd love to have a niece like this On the other hand, everything comes to an end, and then it gets very, very sad. Why did it end with him? Or did it?

i had a similar name a while ago for my gaming accounts but got banned because they were "inappropriate" and i thought that was really funny, so now i use oxycodone haha <3

Oh noo, don't use the same nickname here as you use somewhere else But inappropriate? What a crazy snowflake world

what about you lol, why @stalker?

Honestly, I have no idea. I tried to remember, I thought about it some time ago, and I truly don't remember I'm not a stalker, quite the opposite, and I probably wanted a nickname that doesn't resemble me at all, or maybe I just heard this word somewhere when I created the account. Now I'd choose another nickname

At least when I want to use my "real" name, I can happily go with Simon Talker, or Steven Talker

[oxycodone]

Sometimes messages get long if people are interesting :D

haha thank youuu! youre fun to talk to as well! <3 this really is getting so long lol writing this message actually confused me a little bit lmao

For example I don't think I had any such experiences as a child. But I don't remember much of my childhood anyway so who knows. Looking back I think at 9 I had all traits of a molested child.

this might be a dumb question but what are the traits of a molested child? increased sexual curiousity? shyness maybe? i wonder if i have/had any of them lol. ive not really thought much about that tbh. also losing memories is such a scary thought for me, like thats literally losing a piece of yourself :(

Wide age range! :) They're like daddies to you? Or is it something different?

it is haha, i just think that people in general are so attractive. and yeah i guess in a way its kinda like that, but theres just so much about older guys (and younger girls too i guess lol) that i like. the attention, the fact its illegal, the thrill/rush, the passion they have - so much about it excites me lol :D

I probably had more time :D At your age (roughly as I don't know your exact age, and I won't ask) I was very confused with what I'm attracted to. But it was always someone younger than me, or at most my age. Even at 10 I had a crush with a 7 year old boy.

yeah that makes sense. with stuff in im actually not sure if im also confused about what im attracted to or if im like aggressively bi/pansexual haha :33
how old were you when you realized or understood what you liked (with attraction and sex)? (if you remember :p)

That's true :) For me these 13 year old girls, crushes, just feel more raw, like they are able to touch the very core of my soul. Older girls are just, idk, also hot, but the older they get, the less I'm able to connect with them and it affects how I perceive them sexually. Plus they start to mature, develop, and mature bodies, big breasts, butts, are a meeeeh nooo.

i feel the same way! its so much more "raw" in a way and more honest with younger people, and its also just so much more fun because theyre more attractive :D. i hope my boobs stay small forever too because they already ache/hurt a little bit with my periods and ive heard that only gets worse if theyre bigger. they also take attention away from the rest of my body lol :). im pretty proud of my butt tbh, its a really nice shape and size and works well with my body, genetics was really on my side with it haha :3

They are :D But it makes more sense to me as I'm attracted to femininity. You're attracted both to femininity and masculinity? Or you don't know yet? :D

im absolutely attracted to both, but im starting to get a smallll preference towards masculinity. its weird because i thought i would start to become more submissive with men but honestly its kinda the other way around, im enjoying a more dominant role with things.

Now I envy you even more :D I'd love to have such stash of me. It's different if it's some random person and different if it's you. Plus it's different if it's some random person and different if it's someone you know ;) ... Just be careful, encrypt it, you don't want it to fall into wrong hands...

exactly!! i feel so much more passionate and into it knowing that everything i watch was something ive experienced at some point and shared to someone who loved it just as much as i did, its really cool :) and yeah, ive got it all encrypted dont worry <3

You don't know how much I'd love to have a niece like this :D On the other hand, everything comes to an end, and then it gets very, very sad. Why did it end with him? Or did it?

he said all time how he was the luckiest man in the world and im starting to both understand and appreciate that as i get older :3. it only ended because he was arrested because of drug stuff and is gonna be locked up for a long while, so we never reallyyy ended it. i visit him and call him sometimes which is really nice, but its not the same and its sad that we're limited to that. it is what it is though, you know? shit happens :/

Oh noo, don't use the same nickname here as you use somewhere else :D But inappropriate? What a crazy snowflake world :D

oh dont worry, its different enough that there is absolutely no connection between these accounts. theyre not as similar as what youre thinking (most likely lol). probably best i dont say anything else about than that :3

I'm not a stalker, quite the opposite, and I probably wanted a nickname that doesn't resemble me at all, or maybe I just heard this word somewhere when I created the account. Now I'd choose another nickname :D

haha yeah from what i can tell youre personality and name don't match at allll i was expecting you to be kinda scary XD

At least when I want to use my "real" name, I can happily go with Simon Talker, or Steven Talker :D

im not sure who lol is it like a character or something?

[stalker]

haha thank youuu! youre fun to talk to as well! <3 this really is getting so long lol writing this message actually confused me a little bit lmao

Let's just hope they won't kick us from this thread

this might be a dumb question but what are the traits of a molested child? increased sexual curiousity? shyness maybe? i wonder if i have/had any of them lol. ive not really thought much about that tbh.

I don't remember now but when I tried therapy, therapist listed them. Definitely hypersexuality, excessive masturbation to the point of hurting myself. Obsession with sexuality, plus repulsion towards women. I have it to this day. Girls are cute, hot, great, the less they look like women the better But I have a problem with women, especially older ones, I'm physically repulsed by them even in normal situations. I don't have the same problem with older men, they're just neutral to me.

Something tells me something had to happen with some woman when I was too little to remember. But I don't really know.

also losing memories is such a scary thought for me, like thats literally losing a piece of yourself

We're all going to lose them eventually when we die But such forgetting is something different, these memories are still there, they're just blocked, but they can resurface when we're ready to handle what happened.

it is haha, i just think that people in general are so attractive. and yeah i guess in a way its kinda like that, but theres just so much about older guys (and younger girls too i guess lol) that i like. the attention, the fact its illegal, the thrill/rush, the passion they have - so much about it excites me lol

What if it gets legal? The rush will be gone But yeah such relationships are so intense for both sides, sometimes it's the best thing that happens in life.

yeah that makes sense. with stuff in im actually not sure if im also confused about what im attracted to or if im like aggressively bi/pansexual haha :33

You'll figure it out eventually

how old were you when you realized or understood what you liked (with attraction and sex)? (if you remember :p)

That's a tough one because I kinda always knew I just never really named it until I was old enough to think about it. It wasn't something that came to me one day, some enlightening moment. But this attraction probably predated my sexual development, it was an emotional one, a desire to connect, to fill the void so to speak. Always with someone younger or more petite than I was.

I remember when I was 14 and I was absolutely obsessed with one girl at school who was 10. I never talked to her, I was too shy and even then I knew it would've been too awkward. But scenarios I played in my head with her, not really sexual, more like a hero thing you know, rescuing her from danger, or just being with her... it was very intense.

i feel the same way! its so much more "raw" in a way and more honest with younger people, and its also just so much more fun because theyre more attractive .

How young do you like them?

i hope my boobs stay small forever too because they already ache/hurt a little bit with my periods and ive heard that only gets worse if theyre bigger.

Let's hope so! For me there's no such thing as boobs that are too small. But also many things can look hot on a young girl if she's tiny, things like big boobs that wouldn't turn me on if they were attached (lol) to a larger woman.

Girls often worry that their boobs are too little. Lol they should enter a pedo brain for a moment and see themselves the way we see them, all insecurities would be gone

they also take attention away from the rest of my body lol .

That's how it is

im absolutely attracted to both, but im starting to get a smallll preference towards masculinity. its weird because i thought i would start to become more submissive with men but honestly its kinda the other way around, im enjoying a more dominant role with things.

There are men who like girls to take the lead It's actually hot. But also some would be intimidated of it. Their loss lol

exactly!! i feel so much more passionate and into it knowing that everything i watch was something ive experienced at some point and shared to someone who loved it just as much as i did, its really cool and yeah, ive got it all encrypted dont worry <3

So you watch mostly your own stuff?

You seem to be pretty good at opsec btw, encrypting these things, you have a PGP key in your profile. That's unusual Where did you learn it?

he said all time how he was the luckiest man in the world and im starting to both understand and appreciate that as i get older :3. it only ended because he was arrested because of drug stuff and is gonna be locked up for a long while, so we never reallyyy ended it. i visit him and call him sometimes which is really nice, but its not the same and its sad that we're limited to that. it is what it is though, you know? shit happens :/

I know I hope you'll be able to reignite it when he's out of jail. Then he will have the reason to stay out of jail

The rest of the family didn't know, didn't notice? Of course be careful responding to this question, no identifying info etc

oh dont worry, its different enough that there is absolutely no connection between these accounts. theyre not as similar as what youre thinking (most likely lol). probably best i dont say anything else about than that :3

Ok so it was another drug Don't worry, despite the nickname I won't stalk you But you should always assume someone will so shh

haha yeah from what i can tell youre personality and name don't match at allll i was expecting you to be kinda scary XD

I wouldn't call myself scary lol After all it's just a bear with an onion But my style probably depends on who I'm talking to. You seem very nice, and have that youthful energy I like, so when I reply I just catch myself smiling If you saw my other comments here you'd see a different style

At least when I want to use my "real" name, I can happily go with Simon Talker, or Steven Talker

im not sure who lol is it like a character or something?

Nooo, it's just a response I can use when someone asks me my real name. It's an inside joke really, there was a man here with a nickname AlexUnder and we joked that his real name is Alexander Under, and I was S. Talker = stalker You can be Oksana Codone lol

[LoveFive]

For me it was USNET newsgroups where there were groups like

redacted.

Usenet still exists, and not all Usenet providers censor groups. This is pretty close to a direct violation of sourcing CP. Consider yourself warned.

There was several great posters and that's where I seen series like Kindergarten Sex, BabyJ

Then later on came the studios like.
Eternal Nymphets (produced by Studio 13 Arts)
LS Studios and many others.

I was hooked

[oxycodone]

I don't remember now but when I tried therapy, therapist listed them. Definitely hypersexuality, excessive masturbation to the point of hurting myself. Obsession with sexuality, plus repulsion towards women. I have it to this day. Girls are cute, hot, great, the less they look like women the better :D But I have a problem with women, especially older ones, I'm physically repulsed by them even in normal situations. I don't have the same problem with older men, they're just neutral to me.

oh thats actually pretty interesting. other than a repulsion towards women, all of those things apply to me. also, maybe too much info so im sorry in advance lol, since i magically stumbled across porn, i've been masturbating at the very least once a day, at the very most, uhh probably like 20 times? i've had some very busy days in my time so far :3

We're all going to lose them eventually when we die :( But such forgetting is something different, these memories are still there, they're just blocked, but they can resurface when we're ready to handle what happened.

thats a depressing thing to think about damn. i have a pretty big fear of dying from like a random ass heart attack or something whilst my pc is fully unlocked and someone stumbles across both my body and my secret at the same time. not something i like to think about :(

What if it gets legal? The rush will be gone :D

i meannnnn sure the legal rush would be gone but its still a pretty thrilling thing you know? making someone over double my age feel excited and like they're on top of the world, yeah that give me a rush haha

That's a tough one because I kinda always knew :D I just never really named it until I was old enough to think about it. It wasn't something that came to me one day, some enlightening moment. But this attraction probably predated my sexual development, it was an emotional one, a desire to connect, to fill the void so to speak. Always with someone younger or more petite than I was.

oh really? so you think you were born like this instead of having some formative experience? i wonder how the public opinion and legality of pedophilia will be in like 100 years or so when people realize that it's a naturally occurring attraction and can be controlled, the complete opposite of how its portrayed nowadays.

I remember when I was 14 and I was absolutely obsessed with one girl at school who was 10. I never talked to her, I was too shy and even then I knew it would've been too awkward. But scenarios I played in my head with her, not really sexual, more like a hero thing you know, rescuing her from danger, or just being with her... it was very intense.

haha thats so cute :3 i've always been really shy irl too and never had any relationships (or really friendships for that matter) with many people from school. i also had hero scenarios, and fantasies i guess you could call them, but it was the other way around, me being saved from something by a hot guy lol

How young do you like them? :)

honestly i could love someone who is 2 the same way i would someone who is 42. if i really HAD to pick a sweet spot i'd probably goooo withhh like 6 or 7? old enough to know what's going on and have conversations with, but young enough to still be at that adorable age, before puberty makes everything messy

Girls often worry that their boobs are too little. Lol they should enter a pedo brain for a moment and see themselves the way we see them, all insecurities would be gone :D

the joys of having a pedo perspective <3

There are men who like girls to take the lead :D

i hope my future husband is one of those men because i can't see myself being submissive for my entire life, it's so boring.

So you watch mostly your own stuff? :D

eh i'd say the stuff i watch is like a 30% me and 70% regular cp. i really enjoy watching myself buttt it's always missing something and doesn't hit the same way other cp does because i already know and remember everything i did. but other than that, it's always great fun to watch lil me mess around :3

You seem to be pretty good at opsec btw, encrypting these things, you have a PGP key in your profile. That's unusual :D Where did you learn it?

thanks! :D i truly try my best but i sometimes accidentally say too much or something risky, i guess my opsec can only be as good as the information i give eh? and encryption and pgp, and other stuff, is what i've picked up from reading over guides in forums and chatrooms and stuff. i also use tails (os) a lot and had fun playing with pgp on kleopatra, so that taught me a lot. and is it really unusual? it should be basic knowledge, especially given where we are and what we're talking about lmao

I know :( I hope you'll be able to reignite it when he's out of jail. Then he will have the reason to stay out of jail :D
The rest of the family didn't know, didn't notice? Of course be careful responding to this question, no identifying info etc :D

i really hope so too! and yeah absolutely i should be enough of a reason for him to behave himself haha, but apparently i wasn't at the time, sooo :(. and no, nobody knew anything i don't think. my dad did ask once why we spent so much time together but i think he came to the conclusion i was lonely and didn't have many (any) friends. even if he was suspicious of something, he'd never have guessed what the real reason was :3

Ok so it was another drug :D Don't worry, despite the nickname I won't stalk you :D But you should always assume someone will so shh :D

it actually wasn't haha, it was kindaaa similar but also kindaaa different. i think thats enough said there :p

I wouldn't call myself scary lol :D After all it's just a bear with an onion :D But my style probably depends on who I'm talking to. If you saw my other comments here you'd see a different style :D

i've definitely seen your name a few times before but i can't remember any specific threads, i might have to go stalking for a little bit hehe.

You seem very nice, and have that youthful energy I like, so when I reply I just catch myself smiling :D

that's so sweet omg im actually blushing lmaooo. and you are of course very welcome for the supply of youthful energy xd :D! you're also really nice and fun to talk too, it's nice to connect with like-minded people for once (which i'm guessing you've done lots of lol, i'm very new here). btw your signature says to encrypt pms, does this forum have a pm system or do you mean like tox or something? just wondering because i think it'd be fun to talk more in private (if you wanted to ofc, no pressure!) and don't know my way around this site too well haha.

Nooo, it's just a response I can use when someone asks me my real name. It's an inside joke really, there was a man here with a nickname AlexUnder and we joked that his real name is Alexander Under, and I was S. Talker = stalker :) You can be Oksana Codone lol :D

omggg i feel so dumb lmfaoo that makes so much sense!! i did not see that coming whatsoever, i literally searched up "steven talker" because i thought it would be like someone from a tv show or something omfg xd. anyway lol! oksana codone is an awesome name i am actually going to steal that from you (thank you :3) and use that <3!

[stalker]

oh thats actually pretty interesting. other than a repulsion towards women, all of those things apply to me. also, maybe too much info so im sorry in advance lol, since i magically stumbled across porn, i've been masturbating at the very least once a day, at the very most, uhh probably like 20 times? i've had some very busy days in my time so far :3

My uhm manhood would wither and fall off after 20 times lol

thats a depressing thing to think about damn. i have a pretty big fear of dying from like a random ass heart attack or something whilst my pc is fully unlocked and someone stumbles across both my body and my secret at the same time. not something i like to think about

Me too, you know? That's why I run my laptop on battery when I browse things I wouldn't want anyone to find. Like even now when replying to you. If I die, then before someone finds me the battery will be long dead too.

i meannnnn sure the legal rush would be gone but its still a pretty thrilling thing you know? making someone over double my age feel excited and like they're on top of the world, yeah that give me a rush haha

Oh yeah, this feeling of being on top of the world, feeling so alive, so happy, just pure bliss <3 And all it really takes is a hot little girl who wants you

oh really? so you think you were born like this instead of having some formative experience?

Not really, but I don't know if my experience was sexual. There was a lot of abuse in my childhood, but it was mostly physical and emotional. If it was sexual then I don't remember it. But maybe it's a mixture of both? Nature and nurture? I think I'll never know. I'd have to go back to my earliest days and relive them again.

i wonder how the public opinion and legality of pedophilia will be in like 100 years or so when people realize that it's a naturally occurring attraction and can be controlled, the complete opposite of how its portrayed nowadays.

Or they'll be even more hateful and polarized. Who knows...

haha thats so cute :3 i've always been really shy irl too and never had any relationships (or really friendships for that matter) with many people from school. i also had hero scenarios, and fantasies i guess you could call them, but it was the other way around, me being saved from something by a hot guy lol

Just a little puppy girl feeling absolutely safe in a grown man's arms? <3 Perfection

Do you regret not having many friends at school when you were younger? I always thought girls have it easier, maybe it's because I was this lonely boy. Then I learned it's not always like this. And looking back I don't think I was that lonely. I felt very lonely, but my experiences weren't very far off from what other boys had. And many boys had it much worse, they were bullied and all that stuff.

honestly i could love someone who is 2 the same way i would someone who is 42. if i really HAD to pick a sweet spot i'd probably goooo withhh like 6 or 7? old enough to know what's going on and have conversations with, but young enough to still be at that adorable age, before puberty makes everything messy

7 is still adorable A little too young for me, but I guess 7 is my lower limit of what I can find sexually attractive. And they're cute, innocent and playful. But it's just something completely different with a girl who goes through puberty, discovers these things, discovers herself, can form deeper relationships than at 7, you know? And this puberty thing is very hot to me, just at the beginning when a girl stops being a girl and starts being a teenager, you know, budding breasts etc. Even if girls in puberty can be a real pain in the ass sometimes And often in a few years there's nothing left from that playfulness and innocence.

the joys of having a pedo perspective <3

Don't fall into self-worship lol

i hope my future husband is one of those men because i can't see myself being submissive for my entire life, it's so boring.

Do you plan to settle, have a husband, have kids on your own?

eh i'd say the stuff i watch is like a 30% me and 70% regular cp. i really enjoy watching myself buttt it's always missing something and doesn't hit the same way other cp does because i already know and remember everything i did. but other than that, it's always great fun to watch lil me mess around :3

So you with others or you alone? Stuff with me with others is especially hot to me because I know what happened, I remember it, it seems more real this way you know? With me alone, no, I'm not attracted to adult men

thanks! i truly try my best but i sometimes accidentally say too much or something risky, i guess my opsec can only be as good as the information i give eh?

Just separate your real life from that little Oxy girl and you will be fine

and encryption and pgp, and other stuff, is what i've picked up from reading over guides in forums and chatrooms and stuff. i also use tails (os) a lot and had fun playing with pgp on kleopatra, so that taught me a lot. and is it really unusual? it should be basic knowledge, especially given where we are and what we're talking about lmao

Trust me, it's unusual Kids nowadays aren't that smart, you seem to be an exception

i really hope so too! and yeah absolutely i should be enough of a reason for him to behave himself haha, but apparently i wasn't at the time, sooo

Maybe he thought he won't be caught with these drugs...

and no, nobody knew anything i don't think. my dad did ask once why we spent so much time together but i think he came to the conclusion i was lonely and didn't have many (any) friends. even if he was suspicious of something, he'd never have guessed what the real reason was :3

Parents are so blind sometimes If I had a daughter I think I'd know Or I just think I would, and in reality I'd have no idea

i've definitely seen your name a few times before but i can't remember any specific threads, i might have to go stalking for a little bit hehe.

Better don't, you'll find my other posts and you'll think I'm yet another boring adult While in reality I'm both, I can be adult when talking with adults and playyyyyful when talking with younger ones, a natural gift lol

that's so sweet omg im actually blushing lmaooo. and you are of course very welcome for the supply of youthful energy xd !

Aww thanks <3

you're also really nice and fun to talk too, it's nice to connect with like-minded people for once (which i'm guessing you've done lots of lol, i'm very new here).

I did, but on a different level than with you, you know? It's different when you talk with another adult, even if he gets you

btw your signature says to encrypt pms, does this forum have a pm system or do you mean like tox or something?

Actually I mean PMs, the forum has it, but you have to reach certain post count to access it.

just wondering because i think it'd be fun to talk more in private (if you wanted to ofc, no pressure!) and don't know my way around this site too well haha.

We can talk more privately if you like, and if admins have nothing against it (they're probably reading this thread closely, making sure that everyone is safe and nobody is coerced into anything or endangered) Just one rule, nothing leaves Tor I sent you an encrypted email earlier today when forum wasn't working for me (you have it in your PGP key)

omggg i feel so dumb lmfaoo that makes so much sense!!

You're not dumb lol Trust me I mean, trust nobody! But trust me that you're not dumb

i did not see that coming whatsoever, i literally searched up "steven talker" because i thought it would be like someone from a tv show or something omfg xd.

Not yet

anyway lol! oksana codone is an awesome name i am actually going to steal that from you (thank you :3) and use that <3!

So you'll be Oksana from now on, or just Oxi, this sounds so cute :3

[boomer69]

In the early days of internet it was easy to find it anywhere using different key words ie pthc, loli, cp etc.  It was so cool!!!!  Later on I found emule and shareazza and other p2p sites.  As things tightened up I turned to sites on TOR.  Unless you are willing to pay for it, finding quality cp is difficult for me.  Is it the same for everyone else?

[on the rocks]

I stopped collecting a long time ago, but if I wanted to relapse, I could easily do so.  My desire to keep a feel on the pulse of the wider pedo darkweb means I have an awareness of what sites exist.  Though it's a bit like a sober person living above a liquor store.

[Gobo]

I found it first on Kazaa. It was the infamous Vicky. 

[fffanatic]

So I mentioned this in a previous thread. It was during the days of P2P, Limewire, Kazaa. It was probably one of those. I used Ares less.