Anyone here a Christian and feel terrible about their sexuality?

[GirlsAreBest]

I am technically Christian but am ashamed to be associated with it, ironically. And this has more to do with how Christianity traditionally shuns any kind of non-heterosexual relationship then its stance on adults with minors, especially since I believe the latter shouldn't be pursued anyway despite my circumstances. I spent several years in a Catholic elementary school of which I can only remember learning that God 'loves all his children" and so that's what I took to heart. To this day I believe in a benevolent and tolerant God, our father.

Little was I aware that even much of my family on my father's side were moderately bigoted. My mother is probably the most responsible for my tolerance of everything LGBTQ+, though she mostly spoke fondly of Gay individuals specifically. The rest I learned more about as time went on, and through a combination rational, critical thinking as well as my affinity for young girls I was just able to empathize for obvious reasons.

[on the rocks]

That's why they're hemorrhaging members; because people are so turned off when churches go homophobic.  Because at this point, the charade is exposed.  Most people know at least one gay person and can clearly see they're not in league with Satan or whatever.  So they see the organized religion being dicks to gays for no reason.  So they walk.

If church was smart, they'd just ignore all that Old Testament shit and focus on the core "Golden Rule" stuff.  That was the whole point, after all.  The rest is just arduous backstory that conflicts with canon of the real world.

[Lost_Boy]

My relationship with God is difficult. I am a Christian, but not a Catholic, I do not belong to any church.

I come from a Catholic family and I was a firm believer. At home, sex has always been a taboo. Even when someone was kissing on TV, my mother told me to turn away.
When I was 12 years old (I considered myself an adult then) I did something bad. I hurt a child. Not significantly, but I don't really know to what extent it affected her psyche (many factors influenced it). I didn't do it out of malice, but out of ignorance/stupidity. I knew I was doing something wrong, but I didn't realize I could hurt her. When some time later I realized what I had done... It was the darkest moment of my life. I literally felt darkness consume my soul. I imagined I would burn in hell. I felt terrible fear. So much fear that I convinced myself I didn't believe in God. I convinced myself that I was an atheist and believed it, well, for at least 5 years.
I think that my idea of ​​God at that moment was typically Catholic and very limited, I couldn't see from a broader perspective. If I hadn't told myself that then, I would have gone crazy. It was the defense mechanism in my head that was activated.

Over these 5 years, my perception of God has evolved. I've often thought about this. Although I considered myself an atheist, I liked to consider various abstract issues, and the issue of God was one of the most frequent topics of my reflections. When my adventure with drugs began, I liked experiencing other states of mind, I liked psychedelics. During one of these experiences, I felt the tangible presence of God. Everywhere. In every atom. I connected with Him. I won't describe what else I felt and saw, because it doesn't make sense. Basically, it wasn't anything real. But at the time I believed it was real. And then I really started to believe in God again. Very much.
Of course, I felt great remorse about who I was and what I had done. Also because of taking CP. Now I only feel remorse for what I did, I know that I was wrongly blaming myself for the other issues.

And one more thing, I can't pray. I mean, I can do it, but it's very difficult for me and I'm very rarely willing to do it. Only if I see no other option and the matter is very serious.
I have prayed to God maybe 10 times in the last 20 years. I always asked for something for someone, never for myself. Each time my request was granted.
Sometimes I want to ask for something for myself, but I can't. I know God loves me, but I am convinced I shouldn't do this. That would be very selfish and I don't think that's what prayer is supposed to be about. I don't think God will grant such a request, it must be something pure.

[Chico]

I am a Catholic Christian. Sometimes I wonder why I'm like this, I feel bad for a moment, then it just passes on. My sexuality is hardcoded into me, and there's nothing I can do. I pray, I go to church, everything. But my sexuality still won't change, it's who I am. I was made this way. So if you do, no need to feel bad! You're perfectly fine just the way you are.

[zack89]

For Christians here, and anyone else really, I recommend a video on youtube by William Donahue titled "417 Sexual Repression. Nobody's Done It Yet". I've been listening to a lot of his work and all of it is very valuable and spiritually insightful.

[johnsmithson23]

Catholic Christian here, i constantly struggle, i want to hold onto my faith, and disregard my desires, but they do come up once in a while.
that means confessions.

mind you i dont confess i looked at CP, i just confess i looked at pornography. im not happy with my sexuality, and wish it was more normalised/equalised, but im doing my best, and hoping god will do the rest.

[OneLove]

We don't have any control over laws and mores, but we do have control over our choices. Instead of laying blame on a single religion, since every religion has sexual moral codes, understand human duality for what it is and worry about your own choices. You can fly the finger at society and risk jail and alienation, become completely asexual, which would solve most global problems, or simply follow the rules as best we can. That's what most of us do. Christians aren't perfect. Muslims aren't perfect. Bhuddists aren't perfect.

Christian norms have always been that sex is condoned between a married male and female between puberty and menopause. Anything outside these limits was considered unnatural. Naturally this is based primarily in procreation and not pleasure. It seems as if that may have experienced a reversal. Birth rates are way down, meanwhile everyone is fucking everyone else indiscriminately like rabbits.

I find it interesting that the more rules there are regarding sexuality, the more neurotic and obsessed over sex we become. I would venture to say that in primitive societies with few or lax sexual rules, you don't see people fucking behind every fern.

There's a lot to be said for restraint. I can't profess to be very good at it, but I'd like to be.

[girlsmom]

Having been raised as a Catholic and questioning everything that a priest would say in mass, I got to the point that it is all BS. I have read a lot about the beginnings of religion and how the early Greeks who were starting be find science had no explanations for natural phenomena. They created gods for rain, lightning, thunder  . . . etc. To them those gods were real. Why is that any different than what we have now? Even though there are about 1000 religions today, most believe in something that no one has ever seen and will never see. I think it has been a scam for centuries. Has anyone here read the bible from front to back? Do you know how many people were intentionally killed by this god? Do you know there is slavery, incest, homosexuality, murder and other criminal acts that were approved by that god in that book?
Most of us have morals, not from some ancient book, but because we evolved as humans and having morals and working together with others caused us to survive.

[justcurious]

All I can say is that you can be religious but as every human still have flaws. I don't think all ppl who're religious follow all the rules strictly whatever the religion is xxcept a minority of ppl. I mean just look for divorce technically it's forbidden but ppl still do it.

My point is even tho it's wrong you have three choices either accept the fact that what you do is not good but you'll still do it because you like it.

Either listen to your religion give up on pleasure you have from it and by the same occasion try to re-connect with God

And last option leave Christianity and find a religion where these kinds of things are accepted (as girlmom said I'm sure there's a religion outhere where attraction to minor is accepted)

Good luck to anyone who is in this situation regardless of the religion you're in. I'm sure it's not easy and I wish you all to be at peace with it even tho it's a sin.

[Lillab]

I grew up a very devout Christian. Then I became a strong atheist, thinking all religions are evil and need to be opposed. Unfortunately, that causes conflict and can be quite problematic. When it comes to politics, I am an independent, as I have never found a political philosophy I fully agree with. Likewise, with religion, I am probably also independent. It is difficult to define what is or isn't a part of religion, but with every potential religious question, I explore what I can and come to my own decisions. Likewise, this is true to some degree for everyone. Within any religion different people have slightly different beliefs. Not every Christian has to believe that pedophilia is wrong. That's not actually a core part of the religion. I'd say the only core part of Christianity is taking on the name of Christ, loving God, and loving your neighbor, although each sect has a very different way of expressing these three things. You can definitely do all three of these and be an active pedophile without contradiction. Whatever Christian faith you follow, just realize how much it has changed over time. Why not just practice what you think it will become in the future? A more perfect version, not held back by the misunderstanding of today.

The Bible is very old. I am not a fan of ancient knowledge. As time progresses, the world gathers more knowledge and understanding, not less. Closing yourself off to that progress is foolish. However, I would argue the Bible has evolved over time. Even though the words haven't changed, the context and the way people use and interpret it does keep evolving. Not only has Christianity split into a huge number of religions, each of these also change from century to century. I may not respect the Bible beyond its historical significance, but I do respect the beliefs that continue to evolve over time. It is silly to judge someone based off of whether or not they are Christian, because that actually doesn't say very much about them.

What I do feel strongly about is that it is important for everyone to follow their morals. Otherwise you put yourself in a horribly unhealthy position where you are constantly at war with yourself. I don't think you choose your beliefs. You believe what you believe. It is merely the reality you live in. Many people do lie to themselves and others about what they believe, and I don't think that's healthy. Our beliefs do change over time through our experiences, and we can accelerate that change through discussion and reflection. If your actions and morals don't line up, you need to stop and process it. One or the other needs to change, and that takes time and reflection. I do recommend exploring both a shift in beliefs and a shift in lifestyle, and try to honestly answer what is right for you in your life now. Have the courage to be true to yourself.

[on the rocks]

Christianity does have a built in mechanism for anyone who feels bad about anything they've done.  If you're really sorry, God will supposedly forgive you.  At least with most sects.
So I guess my advice to anyone who feels like this attraction is running afoul of their faith, just lean into that forgiveness thing they've got going on and assuage your guilt that way.  It can just be between you and the lord; no church hierarchy need be involved.

Admittedly, it's one of the features of Christianity that turned me off of it and other religions because it seemed like cheating.  I feel like when confronted with this concept at Sunday school, I asked if that meant God would forgive Hitler and being unsatisfied with the response I got.  Just didn't seem like justice to me if a serial killer or a rapist or a venture capitalist could still get into heaven as long as they were super, for-real sorry.  But I'm just a mere mortal.

[OneLove]

Some morals are easy to adhere to, while others seem like a lofty goal. Although there are rules against incest in the Bible, nothing is ever said about pedophilia. I assume it was a non-issue back in the day. You couldn't have sex until you were married, but a girl could, and did, get married at puberty. So, I guess they were all hebes back then. Humans being who we are however, I'm sure there was plenty of pre-pubescent play time happening.

The age of consent laws are a relatively recent phenomenon.

I'm conflicted with the catholic church. I love all the pomp and ceremony, and the pantheon of saints and angels. It's all fairly pagan, really. But living up to a Jesus standard is pretty much impossible.

The church has done a lot of humanitarian works, yet at the same time has massacred millions in God's name. I don't think that was very Christian of them.

Having said that, people could do well to adhere to Christianity's loftier goals: non-violence, tolerance, love, restraint, and so on.

Instead of completely dismissing Christianity as worthless, I look at it like I look at people. Some have bad habits and do bad things, but overall people are awesome and good. We strive for the good, knowing we will often stumble and sin.

[Lillab]

First I want to say that I like that this thread exists. Everyone deserves support, no matter where they come from. I don't think it is appropriate to attack people's beliefs as they are trying to sort things out. I am uncomfortable with anti-Christian sentiment in this thread. On the other hand, it is an old thread, so branching out into other perspectives is more acceptable.

Some morals are easy to adhere to, while others seem like a lofty goal. Although there are rules against incest in the Bible, nothing is ever said about pedophilia. I assume it was a non-issue back in the day. You couldn't have sex until you were married, but a girl could, and did, get married at puberty. So, I guess they were all hebes back then. Humans being who we are however, I'm sure there was plenty of pre-pubescent play time happening.

The age of consent laws are a relatively recent phenomenon.

Sorry I often get pedantic when responding to your posts. But as you said, hebephilia has historically been accepted, however pedophilia not so much. Historically, you aren't supposed to consummate a marriage until the girl has her first period. Sex is sanctioned when it can lead to pregnancy. It was frowned upon to have to have even marital sexual contact if that contact doesn't result in ejaculating into a vagina, however, marital duties are private so there was no enforcement of this standard. It was rare for a girl to marry before their period, but it was allowed, but the expectation was to delay consummation until after the first period. So technically a pedophile could marry a prepubescent girl, although frowned upon, and sexually play with her, even more frowned upon, but having intercourse would be the most frowned upon, although possible to get away with. Pedophilia was not accepted, but it was barely tolerated. Hebephilia was accepted. Most of this is just cultural, while the Bible itself doesn't clearly get into these details.

There are rules against incest in the Old Testament, but Christ has fulfilled those laws. They merely give context for the New Testament. There was one reference in the New Testament to incest that wasn't positive, but it never came out and prohibited it. Incest is not a clear violation of Christian faith. I see no contradiction between being Christian and practicing incest. It's a cultural violation, not a religious one.

people could do well to adhere to Christianity's loftier goals: non-violence, tolerance, love, restraint, and so on.

Love is clearly a central teaching of Christianity. Restraint is also frequently taught in various forms. Non-violence and tolerance, however, is a bit more vague. There are passages, like the whole "whoever among you without sin cast the first stone," which does encourage non-violence and tolerance. But you also have passages like Jesus flipping over tables in the temple, which is an example of a violent expression of non-tolerance. You aren't supposed to be supportive of sin. Violence and non-tolerance is accepted, as long as it is done out of love and trying to help out your neighbor. The brutality of the inquisition was justified, putting people through temporary intense torture in order to help save them from permanent intense torture. It was an act of love.

What I am getting at, is there is a ton of wiggle room within Christianity to justify whatever lifestyle you want to live. You really don't have very much standing when you try to call something not Christian. All you can say is something violates your interpretation of Christian values (or the interpretation of a specific leader). In the end, you really have to decide for yourself what is right and wrong.