I know this seems silly but there is a part of me that fantasizes and thinks about what if in the past, when i was younger and had more access to kids, if i was braver. What if i was smarter. What if i did kiss who i wanted to kiss and love who i actually wanted to love without judgement or self disgust? I fantasize about many little girls and even some boys i had friendships with who i didnt escalate things with out of fear of hurting them.I think about how nice it would have been to kiss them, and cuddle with them. Maybe even be the first person to give them oral, or be naked with them. Be the person they trust enough to explore with, come to with about things like that. I know i made morally and legally the right choice in just not doing anything at all but there is for sure a part of me that wants to explore the other side, and hopes that someone i could get away with it and do it without damaging them. Some of these younger people i still talk to, and when i hug them to say goodbye i smell their hair and for the rest of the day i just imagine a different world where they were active with me, and i was feeling through their hair as they ride the shit out of me. Or collapsing on my chest after a long day outside, tired and sweaty, maybe a fans going as we sit on the couch. I can feel their heart beat against my chest.
Another part of it is something i recognize clearly and thats my predatory instincts caused by insecurities. Part of me hopes they would want to be sexually active and ready to have sex throughout their lives. I could have a 14 year old bj, or call up a 16 year old and eat her out like she was younger. I wouldnt pass them up when they turned 18, or even 30, that life long connection to them. Part of me wants slaves i guess. I know myself well enough that i would be fine if they moved on.
As i get older i just feel like i missed out on ever experiencing what im attracted to and like most people that causing me to think, what if. What if things went perfect.
Many regrets in both actions taken and just as many not taken. You find out stuff you didn't know back then that could have been awesome. I try not to dwell on such things.
I like to say the person with no regrets is either a liar or boring.
A lot of regrets boil down to the fact that we've changed as people since the time of the thing we regret. It's easy to say, "Oh if only I was more bold" or "I wish I hadn't been so afraid of..." But we weren't that person back then. I can regret not making a move on a girl when I was young, but that wasn't the kind of kid I was; boldly asking girls out on dates. Doesn't make the regret any easier, but on some level, it helps me to know that it's not that I just didn't make another decision, it's that I couldn't have made any other decision at the time. If I did, that wouldn't have been me.
What can I say, I've got some skepticism about the concept of free will. :P
I think regret also blinds us with the assumption that a different decision would automatically be better than what we actually experienced. In reality, we have no way of knowing that. It's simply not a part of our thought process to game out that alternative reality where you did B and Y instead of A and X all the way to the present. There is so much complexity and the butterfly effect of one or two changes makes it functionally impossible to know that your life would be better if you asked so-and-so on a date or accepted that child's offer to show them your cock. Regret is a fantasy built on a simplistic alternate reality in our heads.
Quote from: on the rocks on 09 May, 2023, 00:18:10
I like to say the person with no regrets is either a liar or boring.
A lot of regrets boil down to the fact that we've changed as people since the time of the thing we regret. It's easy to say, "Oh if only I was more bold" or "I wish I hadn't been so afraid of..." But we weren't that person back then. I can regret not making a move on a girl when I was young, but that wasn't the kind of kid I was; boldly asking girls out on dates. Doesn't make the regret any easier, but on some level, it helps me to know that it's not that I just didn't make another decision, it's that I couldn't have made any other decision at the time. If I did, that wouldn't have been me.
What can I say, I've got some skepticism about the concept of free will. :P
I think regret also blinds us with the assumption that a different decision would automatically be better than what we actually experienced. In reality, we have no way of knowing that. It's simply not a part of our thought process to game out that alternative reality where you did B and Y instead of A and X all the way to the present. There is so much complexity and the butterfly effect of one or two changes makes it functionally impossible to know that your life would be better if you asked so-and-so on a date or accepted that child's offer to show them your cock. Regret is a fantasy built on a simplistic alternate reality in our heads.
You make a good point, we grew and changed as people. I believe the reason why i didnt take as many risks or did those things is because i am very passively suicidal now where back then i was more hopeful for the future. Yes it would have been easier when i was 18 to date and screw a 16 or 15 year old, but it also would have been easier to mess up my life and i knew that. I guess i just have an idea that somehow since i got away with a lot back then and regularly jerk off to the times i slipped that means i would have gotten away with much more and it would have been more worth it for me to have done than abstain. Like nowadays what it my reward for being no-contact? Freedom? i was spared life for something i wasnt asked to have? Idk sexual gratification always seems more rewarding but maybe its better if i dont chase it to that level.
I remember struggling with my emotions while I friends with a girl at a church I used to attend. Initially I wasn't sure how to react to her affection. We sat next to each other, held hands, and she rested her head on my shoulders a few times. I never experienced anything like that and would get so anxious, I'd lie to her that I had to go to the bathroom, but would just go sit outside and helplessly try to process my thoughts. Sometimes I thought if she was manipulating me like others have just to embarrass me. I thought, "nobody could ever like me in that way, so she must be faking." I also wondered if I was maybe just over estimating her affection as anything more than just platonic. I didn't want to push things that jeopardized our friendship, but I regret not being more affectionate towards her as she had been towards me which I think played a major part in our parting ways.
I think she really did like me as she wore very beautiful dresses that complemented her body, fixed up her hair very elegantly, and her makeup was well done. She would get so excited to see me and hugged me tightly with our cheeks pressed firmly against one another. When our eyes met, I was so flustered and wanted to kiss her. I felt so weirdly happy with her around. I feel ashamed and angry at myself for how our relationship turned out, but there were factors outside my control, and perhaps some that I may not have been aware of that made things turn out the way they did. I just wish I wasn't so stupid and too entangled within my own mind to help her with her problems. I do wish that she's happy wherever she is, or has someone in her life that offers better comfort than I did.
I have a mental list of girls I think I could have touched and didn't. Maybe horrible things would have happened if I had. Maybe wonderful things. I'll never know now.
For me it's a natural thing that comes as we get older.
We look back and think about all things we could have done and/or should have done.
I also thought sometimes, about all missed opportunities that I had when younger, not only with kids but some older women too.
There was a time a girl with 10-12y wanted to have sex with me, told me she wanted to "become a woman" already.
But I did nothing, I was too afraid she would regret and tell someone. And I had relatively experience as a pedo by that time.
Not so much later she became one of most trusted pedo relationships that I had, even today.
So all my worries was just things from head. Although, I always prefer safe than sorry.
That's one of past things to think now that I should have done.
But yeah, for me it's natural we have these thoughts about a lot of things in our lives.
Even for those of us who have 'done things', regrets exist. Often from having a moment where I have thought 'I shouldn't do this', and that part of me actually stops me. This has become much stronger as I have aged. In retrospect the regret is strongest where in thinking back, I believe the girl at the moment truly wanted what I wanted to do, but I stopped myself. I have had a couple examples where that was clearly the case. So as on the rocks has noted, regret is part of life regardless of what you actually do or don't do.
Quote from: TooLittleTime on 27 May, 2023, 13:34:24
Even for those of us who have 'done things', regrets exist. Often from having a moment where I have thought 'I shouldn't do this', and that part of me actually stops me. This has become much stronger as I have aged. In retrospect the regret is strongest where in thinking back, I believe the girl at the moment truly wanted what I wanted to do, but I stopped myself. I have had a couple examples where that was clearly the case. So as on the rocks has noted, regret is part of life regardless of what you actually do or don't do.
Yes, you guys have all summed it up very well. It goes back to that eternal lament: "If I had known then, what I know now . . ."
I was too self-conscious in high school to go after the "top tier" girls, with a couple of exceptions. If only I'd known that they were looking for something more than a guy in a football uniform!
And those that I
did "date," or run around with . . . they were ripe for the picking (pardon my crudity), but I didn't think I was an adequate "picker." As usual, so many of our limitations are self-induced. But how's a teenager, forty years ago, supposed to know that?
And, although I'm not technically bisexual, I remember some trips to "adult bookstores," in my 20s, where the older men would, um, gobble me up (but not fuck me). I've often wondered how they would have reacted if I'd gone there as a 12 year old boy, nude except for gym shorts . . . wow.
Anyway, we are where we are. We missed a lot. But we've also gotten a little piece of wisdom, that many people miss:
We know who and what we are. And we don't have to worry about it any more. Worry about "defining ourselves," I mean.
I have regrets that I ponder on frequently. As a young man I was in the Philippines and the far east for a time. I had not embraced being a pedophile like I do today and missed out on some incredible opportunities. In many cultures over there, they did not demonize adult child sexual relationships (I realize this is changing). What is crazy is that I already was being sexual with nieces and other younger girls, but I was not intentional and did not have a plan. Why I didn't think to immerse myself with young girls in Asia is beyond me.
Quote from: AlexUnder on 13 August, 2023, 01:02:41
Quote from: TooLittleTime on 27 May, 2023, 13:34:24
Even for those of us who have 'done things', regrets exist. Often from having a moment where I have thought 'I shouldn't do this', and that part of me actually stops me. This has become much stronger as I have aged. In retrospect the regret is strongest where in thinking back, I believe the girl at the moment truly wanted what I wanted to do, but I stopped myself. I have had a couple examples where that was clearly the case. So as on the rocks has noted, regret is part of life regardless of what you actually do or don't do.
Yes, you guys have all summed it up very well. It goes back to that eternal lament: "If I had known then, what I know now . . ."
I was too self-conscious in high school to go after the "top tier" girls, with a couple of exceptions. If only I'd known that they were looking for something more than a guy in a football uniform!
And those that I did "date," or run around with . . . they were ripe for the picking (pardon my crudity), but I didn't think I was an adequate "picker." As usual, so many of our limitations are self-induced. But how's a teenager, forty years ago, supposed to know that?
And, although I'm not technically bisexual, I remember some trips to "adult bookstores," in my 20s, where the older men would, um, gobble me up (but not fuck me). I've often wondered how they would have reacted if I'd gone there as a 12 year old boy, nude except for gym shorts . . . wow.
Anyway, we are where we are. We missed a lot. But we've also gotten a little piece of wisdom, that many people miss: We know who and what we are. And we don't have to worry about it any more. Worry about "defining ourselves," I mean.
I do think, as a girl and woman lover, that in my late teens and early twenties hooking up with the early teen girls was easier, and I took the path of least resistance. Girls my age were intimidating to me, while much younger girls were clear in their interest in me, young women my own age much less so. My first adult woman experience was with a woman in her mid thirties when I was in my very early twenties, so even that was an outlier. And she just had a taste for young guys, something she even lamented about after sleeping with me, complaining about how they always fell in love with her. I was able to not do that to her. But she was good in bed in a much more experienced way and I fell in love with that!
So the physical attraction was equal across ages, though admittedly there were more younger ones that fit my tastes, the older they got the more that fell out of that window. So in combination with how many girls showed an interest in me, the larger pool of attractive girls in the younger age groups and my situation in life that allowed me to have a lot of exposure to early teen girls made them my relationship goal of choice for many years.
I recently had a friend go to jail for over 40 for molesting his stepdaughter. I think the regret from doing nothing is less than the possible regret from doing something and getting caught.
If anything, I regret not doing things more when I was younger. When I was 13-14 I had a lot more access to family members and other younger kids. My mom had friends with younger daughters and such. If caught then, I wouldn't even have been tried as an adult. Doing something small now could have been consequences. So that's my main regret.
Quote from: AlienB on 02 September, 2023, 20:00:50
If anything, I regret not doing things more when I was younger. When I was 13-14 I had a lot more access to family members and other younger kids. My mom had friends with younger daughters and such. If caught then, I wouldn't even have been tried as an adult. Doing something small now could have been consequences. So that's my main regret.
This is what im talking about. I could have done much more when i was still young.
Quote from: AlienB on 02 September, 2023, 20:00:50If anything, I regret not doing things more when I was younger. When I was 13-14 I had a lot more access to family members and other younger kids. My mom had friends with younger daughters and such. If caught then, I wouldn't even have been tried as an adult. Doing something small now could have been consequences. So that's my main regret.
As an "ex-felon" (if there is such a thing), I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's misfortune.
If I had only known . . . you see, it's not just a matter of age differences. It's also figuring out, as much as possible, the opposite sex (I can't speak to homosexual development). We go through dating, maybe "courtship," and multiple marriages before we begin to understand how the other sex thinks.
When I was in my late teens and twenties, I was already a pedophile, and I was very careful. But I had three "second cousins," the PT daughters of my cousin, who utterly fascinated me. (That's an elegant way of saying I dreamed of fucking each of them.) It was so bad that just hearing their names would make me hard.
One afternoon, at a bar near my college campus, I ran into the youngest of these girls. She was undoubtedly 18 by this time, or she wouldn't have been in the bar. We sat down together and had a beer. I was still just "Alex," a friend/distant relative, but she was still my "dream girl," despite her advanced age. (She was, and will always be, a tween in my thinking.) I know now that she was ripe and ready for the picking, and I probably wouldn't have been the first . . . but back then, I was still intimidated by her beauty.
Now, I've been through two marriages and numerous relationships. If I could go back to that bar, at that age . . .
Awww, nuts! :(
Well now all this had made me think about regrets from the past - of which I have plenty, many non girl related - but one that jumps out has to with a girl we will call Addie. I had a very short but intense relationship with Addie when she was 13 going on 14, we had met at a concert and she actually left with me, with many of her friends greatly concerned about what might happen to her. This included a boy her age who had a huge crush on her and would later become my nemesis.
I was in my very early 20's, even in the day this would have been a pretty age challenged relationship. It's likely the thought amongst her friends I was 18 or 19, but a 13yo running off with a guy this much older was still scary to her friends. While the concern was partially justified, since we did have a huge make out session, where I took her was not private enough for us to 'go all the way', though she wanted to! Clearly not a virgin, but also very limited in experience, she was the perfect kind of girl I often was looking for at the time. Eventually we had a few full blown encounters, including the most intriguing being the first time she received oral sex from me, it was her first time ever, she was clueless about that even as a thing, so her reaction was quite humorous and eventually very erotic. Oh, and once her brother walking in on us. That was a little scary.
The problem was I didn't live where she lived, I could make the trip occasionally and did when I could. But then she 'emotionally' cheated on me, letting me know she had strong interest in another boy her age, and they had gone so far as holding hands and kissing. I did and didn't appreciate her honesty, but I terminated the relationship, much to her disappointment. Which I completely didn't get her feelings given what she had done, including explicitly telling me to a question I asked that if he tried to sleep with her, she didn't know if she could resist. Girls honesty, man. I didn't know what she expected from me.
Fast forward one year, I am back in town and at a party where guess what, she is there. We quickly got to talking, then kissing, and wanting more. I had a friend who offered to drive her home (I was staying with him), as we drove we were making out in the back seat. No age judgement from him which I appreciated :) He then offered to take us to his office, he was slightly older than me and had a real job while I was still in college. The office had a daybed for people who stayed late. She was not only willing but begging for us to go, he said he would pick us up in the morning. Bizarrely and stupidly I said no for reasons in retrospect were pretty dumb.
I knew it would be a one night stand, I was leaving town the next day for an extended period of time, and wouldn't likely come back in many months if not longer. He said their were no blankets or pillows, so it might not be comfortable. So for some stupid reason I just didn't do it. I was also worried about her parents, but not as much as I probably should have been. And while the girl was physically mature, she was still more girl than woman, in her features, mentality and physical looks. She was perfect physically in my eyes for a good sex session. WTF was wrong with me. She was not only willing but practically begging to sleep together again. WTF man.
Now not a pedo story and barely a hebe story, but this girl was cute, fuckable, and really wanted to. I have no clue what was wrong with me, except I think I still had a strong emotional attachment to her, and doing what she wanted felt like using her since I knew our relationship was a dead end.
I wish I would have known about dildo's in different sizes, about lube and that you can quickly stretch a girl to accomodate a larger dick. For some reason, when I was younger, I thought my dick was waaaaay too big to be fucking 8/9yo girls in the pussy. So I didn't even try. I bought some monster dildos and used them on my adult gf and she managed to take them. Fucking her felt like fucking a whale afterwards.
If I had more knowledge about the anatomy of little girls I would have fucked a 9yo girl and her 6yo sister and came inside of them for many years.
I also have a little voice in my head saying 'what if...' but I'm still happy I didn't give in to my urges even though I had some potential chances as a teenager. I could have had some mind blowingly arousing moments but they would have just fueled the fire and eventually I would have got caught either by bad luck or by simply thinking with my dick and not thinking about how the girl feels about anything.
Having said that I still do have one actual and real regret: I had a sleepover at my friend's place and I happened to walk past his little sister's (maybe 6yo at the time) room while she was getting ready for shower. She just said that it's okay if I want to watch her undress. I instantly thought that I was gonna get caught and even though she was making the initiative all the blame would be put on me and I would be banished from their house forever. Probably it would have been an exciting and great memory for me to cherish to this day.
As many people have already highlighted, regrets are normal - but there's no shame in having them. If you didn't do anything it's because you weren't ready to at that stage in your life and you have grown and changed since then. I was a the first 'underage' pussy for an adult friend when I was 13 and he was late 40's, and he also regretted not acting earlier. But with how inexperienced he was he probably would have been caught, so it's better he waited. It's easy to regret what could have gone right, it's not easy to celebrate avoiding what could have gone wrong.
Here's to the future <3
Short term while feeling horny, I tend to regret a lot. Long term I'm fine with my choices so far.
When I was about thirteen, my eight years old cousin was sitting by the pool area with me and she suddenly pulled the area below of her swimsuit and said surprised "look how it looks!", so I looked and she was touching her veevee. I didn't say anything and I acted as if I didn't hear anything, looking away because it startled me. It was so suddenly. But I kept this image for ever and I regret not talking something back...
Quote from: cloverheart on 09 October, 2023, 03:31:31
When I was about thirteen, my eight years old cousin was sitting by the pool area with me and she suddenly pulled the area below of her swimsuit and said surprised "look how it looks!", so I looked and she was touching her veevee. I didn't say anything and I acted as if I didn't hear anything, looking away because it startled me. It was so suddenly. But I kept this image for ever and I regret not talking something back...
Oh, my . . . that's a
gorgeous memory, but I imagine it's tormented you for years! It could have gone very differently, right? ;)
Quote from: LonelyDaddy on 06 October, 2023, 19:00:38
Short term while feeling horny, I tend to regret a lot. Long term I'm fine with my choices so far.
I can second that. But I'm happy that the feelings of regret that I have while horny usually turn more into relief after the orgasm has worn down. Being horny really can cloud your mind.
I used to let regrets bother me, but I've come to accept that the past turned out the way it did and there's nothing I can do about it now. I've been fortunate enough to have the experiences I did have, but I can recount some, shall we say, lost opportunities because I didn't have the balls to make a move. I'll share one in particular.
For a few years I had a step sister, a cute 7 year old blonde girl, I was 10. I thought she was cute, but couldn't admit it, I was too shy and so was she. Looking back, I know we could have had a stronger bond, but it just didn't happen, which is a shame because I have a feeling she had feelings for me too. I rarely had any alone time with her, our relationship to eachother was always overshadowed by my mother, her father, and our other siblings. There was this one time where all us kids played a game in the pool where we would moon eachother, basically we would all go under water and flash our butts lol. As time progressed, the blonde girl and I became the only ones doing it to eachother, and it got to the point where we weren't just showing our butts, but pulling our bathing suits even lower. I got a full view of her beautiful, smooth, hairless little burger. :3 Eventually my mother got uncomfortable with the whole situation and told us to get out of the pool. There was another time where we were all in a rush to get ready in the morning and go somewhere, so her father jokingly suggested that the blonde girl and I jump in the shower together to save time. I will never forget the look on her face, her smile was beaming with excitement. Then of course her father said "of course not, I'm just joking!" but deep inside I really wanted it to happen, and obviously so did she. One of my deepest regrets was not taking her aside, being honest with her and finding us some private time. I know we could have had some fun experiences if only I was less shy and more assertive in regards to my desires. Unfortunately, I was too worried about how others would have percieved it if ever we got caught, so I never made a move. As far as regrets go, this is one that cuts deep.
Quote from: zergrush111 on 08 May, 2023, 15:01:40
I know this seems silly but there is a part of me that fantasizes and thinks about what if in the past, when i was younger and had more access to kids, if i was braver. What if i was smarter. What if i did kiss who i wanted to kiss and love who i actually wanted to love without judgement or self disgust? I fantasize about many little girls and even some boys i had friendships with who i didnt escalate things with out of fear of hurting them.I think about how nice it would have been to kiss them, and cuddle with them. Maybe even be the first person to give them oral, or be naked with them. Be the person they trust enough to explore with, come to with about things like that. I know i made morally and legally the right choice in just not doing anything at all but there is for sure a part of me that wants to explore the other side, and hopes that someone i could get away with it and do it without damaging them. Some of these younger people i still talk to, and when i hug them to say goodbye i smell their hair and for the rest of the day i just imagine a different world where they were active with me, and i was feeling through their hair as they ride the shit out of me. Or collapsing on my chest after a long day outside, tired and sweaty, maybe a fans going as we sit on the couch. I can feel their heart beat against my chest.
Another part of it is something i recognize clearly and thats my predatory instincts caused by insecurities. Part of me hopes they would want to be sexually active and ready to have sex throughout their lives. I could have a 14 year old bj, or call up a 16 year old and eat her out like she was younger. I wouldnt pass them up when they turned 18, or even 30, that life long connection to them. Part of me wants slaves i guess. I know myself well enough that i would be fine if they moved on.
As i get older i just feel like i missed out on ever experiencing what im attracted to and like most people that causing me to think, what if. What if things went perfect.
This is not the same person here now. What happened to you while PSC was away, my guy...? :(
Quote from: GirlsAreBest on 14 March, 2024, 00:02:07
This is not the same person here now. What happened to you while PSC was away, my guy...? :(
This was May of 2023. Long before the server issues started. Ill put in short, 2023 beat the piss out of me. I tried that year to accept it and live with it and i was basically a predator that entire year. I let go of every moral and goal i had and really put my life in danger along with many others to basically fulfill a long standing fantasy. I still have these fantasies. This post was basically me saying "i dont care about my life like i used to, the life i live and the sacrifices i made to live this life are no where near as fulfilling or amazing as the fantasies I wish to have are, it was all for nothing, I wish I took greater risks". I now know its better than I live like I used to rather than accept it because now I live even more in fear of police raids screaming down on my head. Every self improvement action I take just feels like trying to disarm a bomb I rigged the entire year of 2023. Also I got shamed an insane degree in 2023 just because my behavior was more brash and risky and my depression got worse. Thats what changed.
Quote from: zergrush111 on 14 March, 2024, 00:22:55
Quote from: GirlsAreBest on 14 March, 2024, 00:02:07
This is not the same person here now. What happened to you while PSC was away, my guy...? :(
This was May of 2023. Long before the server issues started. Ill put in short, 2023 beat the piss out of me. I tried that year to accept it and live with it and i was basically a predator that entire year. I let go of every moral and goal i had and really put my life in danger along with many others to basically fulfill a long standing fantasy. I still have these fantasies. This post was basically me saying "i dont care about my life like i used to, the life i live and the sacrifices i made to live this life are no where near as fulfilling or amazing as the fantasies I wish to have are, it was all for nothing, I wish I took greater risks". I now know its better than I live like I used to rather than accept it because now I live even more in fear of police raids screaming down on my head. Every self improvement action I take just feels like trying to disarm a bomb I rigged the entire year of 2023. Also I got shamed an insane degree in 2023 just because my behavior was more brash and risky and my depression got worse. Thats what changed.
I've left you a PM. I really want to help if possible. I just needed to know what happened first, so forgive me if I overstepped any bounds or opened old wounds.
As others have said, you can regret doing and regret not doing.
There is no way to know how going forward with a kid will turn out.
Maybe good, maybe bad, but the bad outcomes far outweigh the good ones.
So anyone thinking the regret of "missing out" is bad, imagine for a second what the regret of getting a bad outcome would feel like.
"When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheated on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, then be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me." -Ricky Roma.
Sorry, this Al Pacino rant from the film 'Glengarry Ross' came into my head when I read post title. :lol
Hello All,
From the Argentinian poet Jorge Luis Borges (wrote some months before his death, 1986):
"If I could live again my life,
In the next – I'll try,
to make more mistakes,
I won't try to be so perfect,
I'll be more relaxed,
I'll be more full – than I am now,
In fact, I'll take fewer things seriously,
I'll be less hygienic,
I'll take more risks,
I'll take more trips,
I'll watch more sunsets,
I'll climb more mountains,
I'll swim more rivers,
I'll go to more places – I've never been,
I'll eat more ice creams and less lima beans,
I'll have more real problems – and fewer imaginary ones.
I was one of those people who live
prudent and prolific lives –
each minute of his life,
Of course that I had moments of joy – but,
if I could go back I'll try to have only good moments,
If you don't know – that's what life is made of,
Don't lose the now!
I was one of those who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer,
without a hot water bottle,
without an umbrella and without a parachute,
If I could live again – I would travel light,
If I could live again – I'll try to work bare feet
from the beginning of spring till the end of autumn,
I'll ride more carts,
I'll watch more sunrises and play with more children,
If I have the life to live – but now I am 85, and I know that I am dying ..."
― Jorge Luis Borges, The Aleph and Other Stories
..."play with more children"... was Borges one of us? Maybe... ;)
My main regret is not having more time fondling the package of an 8 year old boy cousin. He was super eager too.
Quote from: Deep_Blue on 05 November, 2024, 03:49:17Hello All,
From the Argentinian poet Jorge Luis Borges (wrote some months before his death, 1986):
"If I could live again my life,
In the next – I'll try,
to make more mistakes,
I won't try to be so perfect,
I'll be more relaxed,
I'll be more full – than I am now,
In fact, I'll take fewer things seriously,
I'll be less hygienic,
I'll take more risks,
I'll take more trips,
I'll watch more sunsets,
I'll climb more mountains,
I'll swim more rivers,
I'll go to more places – I've never been,
I'll eat more ice creams and less lima beans,
I'll have more real problems – and fewer imaginary ones.
I was one of those people who live
prudent and prolific lives –
each minute of his life,
Of course that I had moments of joy – but,
if I could go back I'll try to have only good moments,
If you don't know – that's what life is made of,
Don't lose the now!
I was one of those who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer,
without a hot water bottle,
without an umbrella and without a parachute,
If I could live again – I would travel light,
If I could live again – I'll try to work bare feet
from the beginning of spring till the end of autumn,
I'll ride more carts,
I'll watch more sunrises and play with more children,
If I have the life to live – but now I am 85, and I know that I am dying ..."
― Jorge Luis Borges, The Aleph and Other Stories
..."play with more children"... was Borges one of us? Maybe... ;)
This is beautiful, but also written from a place of longing.
Of course he'd regret the things he never did when in his death bed - it's basically your moment to fantasize, why would you consider bad outcomes?
But bad outcomes do happen, and then I ask: who regrets more in the closing hours, the guy who was too prudent and never "seized the day", o the guy who dared and paid dear consequences?
When the consequences are as harsh as spending 30 of your best years behind bars because you just
HAD to know what a child pussy felt like, well... my guess would be that any pedo who tossed the coin and lost would envy the uneventful and peaceful life Borges lived.