The Childs' Perspective

[mysteriouslove]

We usually talk about how we - as adults, young or old - perceive the wonderful bodies and minds of children, boys and girls. We may fantasize about relationships in the form of friendships or sexual encounters with heavy breathings and flickering hearts. Or something like it. We call ourselves pedophiles, as if this would adequately describe our personality, which is much richer than outsiders may perceive us; every one of us unique. But let's not talk about us now. Not as we are. Instead let's close our eyes and remember. What kind of kids have we been? What made us wonder regarding the world of adults? What kind of relationships did we fantasize about?

As a child what kind of relationship with teens or adults did you fantasize about or even pursue or have?

I can vividly remember how in fifth grade - i was around 11 years old - I fell in love with my young female teacher in primary school. She was just beautiful and I was drawn to beauty and open to encounters of any kind, even though I didn't know much about the topic of sex, which is a shame I think.
Around that age I also was very curious about the body of my one aunt. One day as part of a family trip I sneaked up to a window of the little vacation house she was in and could watch her naked lying on a bed, her pubic hair clearly visible to me. I was fascinated and drawn to it.

I couldn't wait to have sex with a woman. Pornography was not widespread in my days, neither was the Internet. And I think I like this in hindsight, since it made me pursue real life encounters.

Today I sometimes dream to be a child again having sexual encounters with both women and men, but that's maybe part of another discussion.

[RyanM]

excellent conversation starter
I only longed for kids in my classes and neighborhoods -- and admired the beauty of actresses (girls and women).

[InThisTogether]

We usually talk about how we - as adults, young or old - perceive the wonderful bodies and minds of children, boys and girls. We may fantasize about relationships in the form of friendships or sexual encounters with heavy breathings and flickering hearts. Or something like it. We call ourselves pedophiles, as if this would adequately describe our personality, which is much richer than outsiders may perceive us; every one of us unique. But let's not talk about us now. Not as we are. Instead let's close our eyes and remember. What kind of kids have we been? What made us wonder regarding the world of adults? What kind of relationships did we fantasize about?

As a child what kind of relationship with teens or adults did you fantasize about or even pursue or have?

I can vividly remember how in fifth grade - i was around 11 years old - I fell in love with my young female teacher in primary school. She was just beautiful and I was drawn to beauty and open to encounters of any kind, even though I didn't know much about the topic of sex, which is a shame I think.
Around that age I also was very curious about the body of my one aunt. One day as part of a family trip I sneaked up to a window of the little vacation house she was in and could watch her naked lying on a bed, her pubic hair clearly visible to me. I was fascinated and drawn to it.

I couldn't wait to have sex with a woman. Pornography was not widespread in my days, neither was the Internet. And I think I like this in hindsight, since it made me pursue real life encounters.

Today I sometimes dream to be a child again having sexual encounters with both women and men, but that's maybe part of another discussion.

My parents were both swingers, and although they went to great lengths to hide that from me, boys will be boys and find things out. Like finding their stash of homemade porn. Word to the wise to all the parents out there. Lol. I was probably 10-ish when I found it, and got immediately hooked. I expect it was formative in my sexual desires, since I went on to have multiple fantasies about multiple older women in my life. Teachers, neighborhood moms, girlfriends of my mom, etc. I expect it was the strength of those first experiences and fantasies that makes "pedomom" material so hot to me know. Much more so than the typical M/g stuff. I would have happily done anything an adult female wanted to do with me and am quite certain I would have regarded it as a positive experience today.

Jane is a little different, in that her early experiences were same-sex, starting at 9, with neighborhood girlfriends. She credits that childhood time to explaining why she is Bi now. Her adult crushes were therefore also women for the most part, to include one neighbor who was a new mom when Jane was perhaps 14 and the woman was mid 20s. She used to hang out over there quite bit. Mostly because she just liked her in general, but also because Jane hoped to watch her breastfeed her infant. ALWAYS turned Jane on, to the point she often went to the bathroom so she could masturbate about it.

Don and Jane

[girlsmom]

I was attracted as a youngster to a teacher that I had in grade school. BLonde hair, super smile, and a very friendly personality. I didn't know it at the time but I had a huge crush on her. Of course I wouldn't admit it to anyone until my sister and I started to become close. There was an aunt of ours that also was an attraction of mine and even my sister's. We just thought that she was really into sex but we had no evidence of that. It would be great to go back in time.

[Midamoto]

If I go back to my preteen years, I don't think I had any interest in women at all. I did have sexual desires for my sisters and some of my classmates that I couldn't understand at the time.

The adults who had the most emotional impact on me were mostly males, no offense to women. A teacher, a neighbor, a guy at the religious gathering... There were some adults that I really loved to see, and they really loved to play with children. We would flock around them like flies. Any other adult would have found it exhausting, and they would keep on telling us, "leave the poor Mr. Blank alone, you're bothering him!" but it was clear to me that Mr. Blank wasn't bothered at all. With hindsight, maybe they were pedophiles, but if anything they only had a positive impact on my life, and none of them did anything sexual with me. For at least two of them, they also had a very large intellectual influence in my life.

With some of these adults men, and that was much more common back then than it is now, I sometimes feel a subtle chill in my spine and flimsiness in my legs. My heart aches a little and I feel at ease – protected maybe? It's similar to attraction, but it's much weaker, and very different than with girls. I've shared that with some people and I've always been met with puzzled looks. I wonder if some of you will recognize what I'm talking about. I'm not sure what to make of it.

[Matthew1914]

As a child what kind of relationship with teens or adults did you fantasize about or even pursue or have?

I definitely had numerous crushes as a young lad. I was attracted to a number of my teachers growing up. And I had a serious crush on one of the older neighbor girls. She was not that much older than me, maybe 3 or 4 years. But, at that age, she was definitely an "older woman". I told her once that she was my girlfriend. She just laughed at me. That kind of shut me down. One of the many formative experiences in my youth that probably contributed to my awkwardness and self-esteem issues till this day.

I dated several older women in my time. But the relationships were never really satisfying. Thus, my realization that I should have been aiming younger the whole time I guess. I certainly had my share of younger girls expressing interest. But, I was to thick, or too much of a pussy, to pursue them. Ah, those missed opportunities.

[mysteriouslove]

I told her once that she was my girlfriend. She just laughed at me. That kind of shut me down. One of the many formative experiences in my youth that probably contributed to my awkwardness and self-esteem issues till this day.

Sounds very unpleasant, like you being kind of innocent about it and she laughing. I guess many kids would feel bad afterwards, since you had positive intentions. But then again - now as an adult - you should make sure to overthink this whole situation. It's probably not that she laughed about you as a person or wanted to make you feel bad or dismissed it. Maybe she laughed about the cute inexperience you showed, maybe even because she liked to hear that. On the other hand, whatever she did, your personal value is not dependent on it at all. I mean, she was just a young girl herself.

[evolsdik]

I was a somnophile as a kid. I still do love to have sex with sleeping people, but as an adult I guess it's too risky. So the very first fantasies I masturbated for were probably sleeping or unconscious women. I know how to masturbate since the earliest age I remember. Of course it was proven masturbation: rubbing yourself on the bed. Back then I was sexually interested in boys too, in a wearied way though. I didn't want to fuck them (I probably didn't know how to fuck with a girl or boy anyways back then); I just wanted to "experiment" with their penis. I vividly remember planing to put a plastic cap on a friend's penis while pretending to playing with him. I thought that nobody except myself know how to play with the penis and move the foreskin back, so he won't know why he can't pee. I think the thought gave me a sadistic thrill (I was a really sick bastered since born, I guess )

Later I started to masturbate for the girls in magazines newspapers and characters of my favorite TV shows like everyone else. But I also masturbate a lot to my mom. I was sharing the bed with my mom until I was around 8 or 9 and I have started to sneak my fingers into her nightgown. There wasn't enough light to see anything, but I loved the idea or lifting her nightgown and make her lay naked. She woke up sometimes and was cursing me. Eventually I had to move to my dad's room. Then again I started to walk back to my moms room in the middle of the night and lift her night gown. Lift her night gown, no masturbation or anything. She woke up twice or so, but I manage to run back to my bed before lights were on. She probably know it was me and one day she was crying asking me to stop that "sinful" thing. I was around 14 back then and got really shocked by my mom crying and begging me. Then I started to forcefully hold myself not to do it again.

I was pulling pants of my brother while he was sleep and stroking his penis. He never woke up, but maybe he was pretending, because one day, all of a sudden he was touching my leg with his crotch. I also reacted positively and it went on until parents were back home or something. But I had some kind of "homophobia" and didn't want to have any gay relationship. Especially not with my brother. I tried to disdain myself from my brother I didn't even wanted to look at him. I don't know what sort of stupid reaction that was. But it was becoming so dramatic, my parents took me to see a psychiatric. I had a history of hating my brother, mostly because of the jealousy, so they thought it had something to do with that, and of course I didn't reveal anything about our sexual thing. For one I was the guilty party and I didn't want to talk about my sexuality with any adult anyways.

I also got ought to my grandma while sneaking to her while she was asleep. That was the 2nd (and probably the last) major embarrassment I had  with anyone in my family. I haven't totally stopped sexual interactions with my family though. Ones from the extended family

Part II

I had a cousin same age as my brother and her family had moved to my grandparents house when I was around 9 or 10. Both her and my brother was three years younger than me and they were playing together all the time. There were quite a few aunts an their friends coming to my grandparent family and I ought my brother and cousin "upskirting" those women, run back to the room and stubble what they see. They were shocked when I found out and begging not to tell anyone. I agreed on the condition that they'd join me to their "mission.' So I too was sitting on the flow and trying to see upskirts of those women walking and sitting around. So far they haven't mind the little ones, because they were too little, but I was around 9 or 10 they were making faces. So i had to stop.

Also this cousin used to show me and my brother her pussy. She wanted us to show ours in return, but we were too shy so I had to stop. And I wanted to get some other male cuisines to join us to look at her pussy, but ended up with an embarrassing "no" from my male cousin; they weren't no weirdos like us.

This female cousin's father was a drunk and the black sheep of the family. I remember he took me and by brothers on "horse rides," us sitting on his belly. I don't know whether he did anything sexual, but I really liked it. But maybe I've embarrassed him by asking about it in front of other people (I was aware of my own sexuality back then, but wasn't aware of anything sexual in this). Maybe he was having some sexual fun with us, maybe not. Either way, I still don't mind even if he was. Maybe he was such a sexual being that his daughter got that naughty influence from her.

Her family had this one sleepover at our home in an election night and I manage to pull her panty fully down while she was asleep. But I was too nervous to masturbate there or anything. I didn't know anything I could do without waking her up. Later that day I was trying to do that again but this time she woke up. She mumbled "no" and went back to sleep, but i felt I had betrayed her trust. After that I never got a chance to do anything with her. I tried to sneak into her bedroom in my grandparents' house, but it was too risky. I managed to steal few of her underwear and return a few after my cum on them dried up; but that's that.

Few years after our little secret encounters ended, mostly because we didn't want to show ours back to her, I tried to convince my brother to talk with her and see if we can resume. But he wasn't interested and I was too nervous to ask myself.

So  that was the end of chapter II of my family encounters.

P.S: I have a feeling that nobody would believe this to be true, because just now I realized that my sex life seems to be much more dramatic than some fictional stories. Sadly I wasn't mature enough to fully capitalize the opportunities I had. Believe it or not, all these stories are real; at least that's how I remember them.


OMG this is the first time I've revealed all those stories to someone! Even anonymously! And I feel so good about it! 

(merged triple post)

[on the rocks]

You were quite the adventurous child, evolsdik.  Seems it caused some of your family a bit of distress, but one can't fault your curiosity.

[Midamoto]

Your story doesn't seem far out to me evolsdik, although I have a feeling we were a minority of kids to be sexually awakened at such a young age. When I was around 8 yo I was already trying to sneak a touch when playing with my sister.

I wouldn't call myself a "somnophile" because one, I didn't even know that word existed, and two, the few times I've taken advantage of a situation like that it was more out of opportunism than a real attraction to sleeping girls. Before anyone judges me, just know that you'd be justified to do so. I won't do that again ever, but when I was 14 I tried to take advantage of my sleeping sister, and similar things happened two or three times later in my life. Not proud of it at all. Luckily nobody was ever mentally or physically hurt by my actions, at least as far as I know.

[geekboy]

As a preteen I probably fantasized a lot more about boys my age. Sometimes boys a little older, but rarely adults. I did have a teacher who I had a bit of a crush on when I was in 5th grade. I liked to help out in the classroom. Too bad he wasn't a bl.

[mysteriouslove]

As a preteen I probably fantasized a lot more about boys my age. Sometimes boys a little older, but rarely adults. I did have a teacher who I had a bit of a crush on when I was in 5th grade. I liked to help out in the classroom. Too bad he wasn't a bl.

Well maybe he was, but was more into one of your schoolmates back then. I can relate to your little crush though. Do you sometimes fantasize about him and you back then? Tell me all the kinky details please.

[OneLove]

I also started quite young. Masturbating at 8, peeping on my mom in her bath, stealing her dirty panties and jerking off. That sort of thing. My mother was my first lust.

[Robotboy]

I think it's always hard to have these conversations without defining child. In elementary school there were crushes around my age. Nothing in my head that went beyond kissing. I do have a vivid memory of having my first wet dream while grinding against a boy I liked. It was like a week or 2 before sex ed. I guess some stuff just comes natural. But these were with people around my age. I guess you can say I was pretty sheltered in elementary school and the whole stranger danger was more of a fear of kidnapping or being killed. The thought of an adult with a kid was just something I didn't consider.

But then middle school happened. I had my first experience with a friend. Then a few other friends. Then a friend's older brother which opened the door up to older guys. And by old I mean like barely adults. 18 to early 20's college guys. But to a 13 and 14 year old that was adults but cool adults. I was able to get into some college parties and have some fun. I even got with a couple of virgins. I did like some guys up to the late 20's that I fantasized about and I did get a chance with one of them towards the end of middle school.

It wasn't until I was in high school that I thought about or did anything with guys over 30 in a sexual way.

[Alembic40]

It was similar with me. Kissing and hugging or holding hands were probably only things I could think about in relation to girls-boy intimacies when I was 13-14. Then it changed step by step. But I can see big shift from our times to the present in regard of first experiences and experimentation. Girls on video chat got bolder and visibliy they experiment much more. Or maybe I just did not know about it in my youth