It seems now that I only come here to give small updates or post at random topics. My life lately is no longer compatible with anything online, to expensive to have a connection.
I've already got what I need to finish this semester so I'm taking a break two weeks early. One more year and I will have my degree and maybe some stability. But for now I'm back at my family home, took a "break" at work too so I'm going to expend almost 2 months here. Not that it really maters, my current job is more of a "commission pay" deal so I'm free to do what I want.
By the way should someone who doesn't know me be reading this. Hi I'm Nyarla, a terrible god from the abyss and occasional poster here on the community.
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Just arrive back at my hometown, but it's already morning so I will chose not to go to sleep and stead create an update post here at good old PSC. The song of the morning birds and the smell of my hometown are a truly inspiring. So I guess I will leave this here as a diary to record and share whatever I feel like sharing.
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The people I'm living with often reminisce about their past and their old home with sadness, as if life before what we got now was magical and better in every way, even though not a single one of us there had a "good childhood" in anyway.
But every time I come back here to my family home all I can feel is happiness at the freedom I'm enjoying now. Yeah life is much, much harder. But at the same time it feels more real, more mine, I can fail without worrying to disappoint anyone and I'm free to fail too. And since I live with people who also "fail" a lot it gives a better sense of community and family.
I can see now that this life here [my hometown] was never truly me, it was just a placeholder until my real self could be realized in full. Wish I knew that before, I would had being a less bitter teen and not had put those close to me through so much back there. But guess some lessons only come with the wisdom of age.
I'm also pretty excited at all the food here. Two month of free meals, can't even believe it.
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That's that for now.
Ahhh, that all sounds so relaxing. Changes can be refreshing, especially when certain burdens like feeding yourself are removed :)
As an older person it's hard to not reminisce about the past, because we tend to minimize the bad things and highlight the good. And more than anything life always seems simpler then, even if it wasn't!
Quote from: TooLittleTime on 14 June, 2023, 13:22:16
Ahhh, that all sounds so relaxing. Changes can be refreshing, especially when certain burdens like feeding yourself are removed :)
I got so used with a less than ideal amount of food that I'm sure I'm still not eating as much I could. Not that I'm not eating, I've being on a constant state of snacking since yesterday, but I should focus on larger meals.
Quote from: TooLittleTime on 14 June, 2023, 13:22:16
As an older person it's hard to not reminisce about the past, because we tend to minimize the bad things and highlight the good. And more than anything life always seems simpler then, even if it wasn't!
Simple ain't always good and I don't think I will ever remember the bad old times fondly. But I guess that means I need to build myself something to be nostalgic now, or maybe it means I will never age and am now immortal.
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Day 2
Haven't done much today, what is good, the whole point of being here is to do nothing. I'm planning on watching some movies this Friday with my brother, maybe smoke some joints with him... I'm not into weed that much anymore, but getting high may be one of the few things I am still better at than he and the universe demands that I reassert my older brother dominance some way.
The new cat does not like me.
Quote from: nyarla on 14 June, 2023, 21:12:36
I'm planning on watching some movies this Friday with my brother, maybe smoke some joints with him... I'm not into weed that much anymore, but getting high may be one of the few things I am still better at than he and the universe demands that I reassert my older brother dominance some way.
It'll at least perk up your appetite. ;)
Nice to see you again, nyarla.
Visiting the home town gets weirder as time goes on. You realize things like, "They don't even have a... <insert thing about new city you like>"
Or like, "I never noticed how ugly most people are around here." :lol
I don't know that I'd ever go to the town I grew up in if my parents didn't live there still. Well, maybe to go fishing. :P
Quote from: on the rocks on 14 June, 2023, 23:51:31
Nice to see you again, nyarla.
Visiting the home town gets weirder as time goes on. You realize things like, "They don't even have a... <insert thing about new city you like>"
Or like, "I never noticed how ugly most people are around here." :lol
I don't know that I'd ever go to the town I grew up in if my parents didn't live there still. Well, maybe to go fishing. :P
I will let you know my hometown people is quite good looking, with the exception of the old people, they look like they survived some shit.
I missed PSC, glad to be back, for now.
It's good to have a place like this to come back to, a safe haven, I hope that even after I go back to work I'll continue to find time for those breaks with the family. PS. food that tastes like childhood is always good lol
Quote from: Katou on 16 June, 2023, 16:47:42
It's good to have a place like this to come back to, a safe haven, I hope that even after I go back to work I'll continue to find time for those breaks with the family. PS. food that tastes like childhood is always good lol
It is isn't it? Why can't food keep that magical taste it had when we were young?! Maybe it's the microwave, or the fact it's almost unsafe to eat industrialized garbage kkkkkkkk
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Talking about safe heavens, yesterday while my friends back in the concrete labyrinth where having quite the apocalyptic weather I was resting calmly under the sun enjoying the beach.
It's weird, time is suppose to go faster when you're having fun... But here it almost looks like time doesn't pass at all.
What a nice weekend, there's being some time since I had a relaxing time like this. I would usually associate a certain level of insanity with having a good weekend but sometimes you don't really need much to enjoy yourself.
Quote from: nyarla on 16 June, 2023, 16:53:57
It is isn't it? Why can't food keep that magical taste it had when we were young?! Maybe it's the microwave, or the fact it's almost unsafe to eat industrialized garbage kkkkkkkk
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Talking about safe heavens, yesterday while my friends back in the concrete labyrinth where having quite the apocalyptic weather I was resting calmly under the sun enjoying the beach.
It's weird, time is suppose to go faster when you're having fun... But here it almost looks like time doesn't pass at all.
Maybe because there were only pieces of sky, cracks between the buildings, and now there's a huge sky for the sun to walk through and that's why it takes longer lol
Quote from: Katou on 20 June, 2023, 00:19:19
Maybe because there were only pieces of sky, cracks between the buildings, and now there's a huge sky for the sun to walk through and that's why it takes longer lol
That may actually be it, I've read a few things about how luminosity affects the functioning of ones Circadian rhythm. It would be interesting to test out how living in a city alters a person notion of time, one of my friends is doing medicine and is into that type of shit, altered perception and all that. I'm texting her right now.
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There's this club here in my hometown that used to be a unofficial meeting spot for young gay people and I say used because now is an official gay club.
Well I talked to two people today who expressed how much they support the place and I have two questions about it;
Where were they when I was a teen? not supporting me that's where;
And why do they think I would be interested in knowing their opinion about a place I haven't being to in almost 4 years?
Anyway my dumb 17yo brother has classes during the week and I don't have any friends here anymore so I guess I'm visiting that club this night... Maybe I will even find myself some winter love or someone my age to talk too... Guess I'm a little bored already.
A hectic place within a calm environment, I think it's a good mix, yes, experience what it's like to enjoy the night without having to worry about what happens at work, solving problems, it's like being a teenager again lol, you've already passed over there at night?
Quote from: Katou on 21 June, 2023, 17:11:53
A hectic place within a calm environment, I think it's a good mix, yes, experience what it's like to enjoy the night without having to worry about what happens at work, solving problems, it's like being a teenager again lol, you've already passed over there at night?
Oh yeah I did. I spend yesterday morning in someone else's place actually. Had one hell of a hangover later too.
The place is a lot better now than last time I've being there, they may have a different owner cause the place was never this clean before.
That makes a big difference lol, found your winter love?
Quote from: Katou on 22 June, 2023, 18:14:58
That makes a big difference lol, found your winter love?
I found one yes, but further experimentation is necessary to confirm the attempt was a success.
I'm having the first full nights of sleep this year. Weird, it feels like my body forgot how it work, I will still wake a few times and the post sleep drowsiness will last a for a long time. The good thing is that in that cycle of waking up and going back to sleep I'm acquiring a certain control over my dreams, it is not lucid dreaming, but I can usually think about something before going to back to sleep and that will be the dream.
I'm adding architect of dreams to my many tittles now.
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I call one of the guys that live with me "our cult leader", because he is always saying something deep or extremely cheese and he is the one that keep us from turning on each other, I think he just do too much shrooms, he is kinda of a "father" figure for our group of maladjusted.
So anyway my mother bought a lil door plaque with the single most cringe engraving I ever saw and the words on it sounds like the type of shit my friend usually says, so I'm bursting into laughter every time I see it.
Room door sign philosophical and strange phrases always have a special place lol, this story reminded me of a song about a guy going back to his homeland picking mushrooms along the way lol
I got myself some of the nastiest flu I ever got. One must always pay the price for changing climates and my body is probably not the healthiest. It did gave me the opportunity to catch up with pretty much every show I wanted;
Mandalorian season 3 ain't half as bad as people are saying and the final battle for Mandalore was awesome.
Andor is awesome.
Boruto went all over the place didn't it? Argh.
Records of Ragnarok is pretty cool, as a fan of RoTK seeing Lu Bu immediately rook me up.
Naruto lives in my heart, a sensational anime, but it doesn't seem like the same universe, but I will still watch it, from what I noticed from people who didn't like the 3rd season of Mandalorian, they expected the continuation of some concepts but the stories are like that, if it was how we wanted there would be no surprises I don't really like the helmet story though I do like the characters wearing masks and helmets the idea of not removing the helmet under any circumstances gets in the way in a funny way, distracts me by watching because of thoughts "It's ok to poop in a helmet but what if he has the flu? he might sneeze and fog up his visor, he needs to take it off for maintenance during a battle"
I looked in the mirror when I woke up and man! I'm almost looking like a real person, my skin is bronzed again, no bags under my eyes, I think I may even have already gained some weight. Amazing what the sea breeze can do for me.
But you know, that got me thinking, I enjoy changing my hair to fit my moods and well I'm feeling really good about myself today, so why not get a normal basic hairstyle? I think I'm secure enough in who I am to for it. The guys back home would probably laugh at me going for a normie look, but hey this is a small town and I would have a even better time here if I didn't scare away most of the hot guys.
I will ask my brother about it, he is the king of being normal! And boys his age tent to know what is trending. Not that I want to look normal! just experimenting.
I did it and I must say, I am quite a handsome normal person. There's being sometime since I last looked at myself like this and when I last did there was still some of that teenager awkwardness in me. I still going to go back to my true self once I leave, but it is good to know whats behind the weirdness.
Maybe I should try and grow a beard while I am here.
I will for sure go out today again. Maybe I can archive a even greater conquest this night.
There's a saying in my country: "You clean up good." ;)
Usually directed at guys, it's meant to convey how much more attractive they can be if they up their game when it comes to how they dress themselves and fix their hair. Especially if they're the type that rarely combs their hair and is constantly wearing old T-shirts.
Quote from: on the rocks on 07 July, 2023, 19:14:49
There's a saying in my country: "You clean up good." ;)
Usually directed at guys, it's meant to convey how much more attractive they can be if they up their game when it comes to how they dress themselves and fix their hair. Especially if they're the type that rarely combs their hair and is constantly wearing old T-shirts.
My T-shirts are vintage not old! But yes, the saying may fit.
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Talking about new conquest, I won't say last night was greater than the previous time I went out. I will write it, man my conquest last night was better than the previous time. When multiple choices are offered you usually get the better deal.
Who would have guessed that people feel you're more approachable when you don't look hostile?
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The boy is finally in vacation, I would like to go camping with him like good old times. But winter ain't the best season for it, the nights can get cold here sometimes in winter. Maybe I will drag him into going for a walk to my old secrete beach, I haven't being there in years and I think it would be a awesome place for him to go with his friends.
Sometimes I feel like I have to cover for all the time I "wasted" being attracted to him when we were young. But truth is I don't think it would had being that different, maybe more fights and a few extra days playing games instead of hiding in my room because I was scared to look at him. A lot less boners being hidden that's for sure.
My feelings on it are complicated, sometimes I feel glad it happened other times I feel bad about it.
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Anyway on the topic of kids, man I went by the popular local beach and what a view! You take for granted all the boys in speedo when you live in the littoral. It almost make me wish to go out and sell snacks to the tourist just as an excuse to look at them boys, but no way I spending this time here working.
What I will do is sit on a nearby bar and have some drinks while appreciating the view. And the best part is, if anyone even notice they will think I'm looking at the ocean. Only problem is the beachside prices, but well I will just drink less.
It took some convincing but everything is set for our hike tomorrow. I got everything we will need and also two lil squares of acid, fun thing we call it doce here in my region what means candy... The plan is to leave early in the morning, get there before lunch and be back before night time. He claims to never have used acid before, what makes sense it ain't the easiest to drug to get here, so I think it will be perfect, a nice experience and build some memories for the future.
It will be a good to opportunity to re-connect, most times I visited since I left we didn't had much time to spend together... What makes sense, why would he spend time with his failed older brother? Specially since he has all the stupid teen nonsense he likes to waste his time with. Only person in this family I care about, if I allow us to drift apart I am also completely disconnecting from the life I used to have.
What an amazing bonding opportunity for two bros. Have a good trip. ;)
Quote from: on the rocks on 12 July, 2023, 23:51:09
What an amazing bonding opportunity for two bros. Have a good trip. ;)
Just finishing my breakfast and I'm going. The day is beautiful, it will be a good time.
I was pretty cool... I'm exhausted, but what a fucking great time we had. I will probably describe it better tomorrow, but it was a good idea, I'm glad we did it.
So it was awesome, we finally got to have a good talk about our life. I didn't said too much about how things are on my side, for obvious reasons, but it was nice to hear about all his shenanigans. The day was pretty clear, only a bit windy, so we got a very nice day. He is a lot less adventurous than I was at that age, but he is clearly happy, what I was not, so the win goes to him on that one I guess.
He has a bad musical taste, truly awful... If there was any influence he should have took from me it should have being music. But we found a common middle ground so that wasn't a problem for long.
When we got where we were going we took the acid and it was a very smooth sail. It was a small dose for someone like me, but it was probably the best for him. Was funny to watch that is for sure, the acid appears to have magnify his dumb-ass ideas what was hilarious... What great time we had.
Reach down deep and unleash your inner dumbass...
:lol
Two more weeks and I will have to go back to being my wild self. I sure need to chose a new hair color for when I go back, maybe it will distract from the new basic hairstyle. What you guys think? Green, pink or flaming red?
I also finished my last cigarette from my last pack, will have to buy more... It should have lasted longer, maybe I'm smoking more or maybe it's all the sharing while I am out, people should buy their own cigarettes!
Quote from: nyarlaI sure need to chose a new hair color for when I go back, maybe it will distract from the new basic hairstyle. What you guys think? Green, pink or flaming red?
I cast my vote for purple.
Quote from: nyarlaI also finished my last cigarette from my last pack, will have to buy more... It should have lasted longer, maybe I'm smoking more or maybe it's all the sharing while I am out, people should buy their own cigarettes!
Yeah, I know that problem. But you know, if you don't buy the finished product but rather some tobacco, some papes and some filters and roll your own this problem kinda disappears, either because people don't know the art of rolling or because they're too lazy. I kinda go back and forth between rolling my own and buying finished ones, depending on what I'm doing like going somewhere in my car for instance, can't roll a cigarette while driving so I might as well buy finished ones for the trip.
:P
bumming a smoke was fine back in the day, but not now at these prices
Quote from: hoefler on 17 July, 2023, 15:20:30
I cast my vote for purple.
Maybe it's purple now...my hairstyle is basic not the color sir. Maybe I dress in black and a purple hair would make me look too grim.
Quote from: hoefler on 17 July, 2023, 15:20:30
Yeah, I know that problem. But you know, if you don't buy the finished product but rather some tobacco, some papes and some filters and roll your own this problem kinda disappears, either because people don't know the art of rolling or because they're too lazy. I kinda go back and forth between rolling my own and buying finished ones, depending on what I'm doing like going somewhere in my car for instance, can't roll a cigarette while driving so I might as well buy finished ones for the trip.
Yeah I sometimes buy some bags of tabacco, there are some specialized stores with great variety of tobacco here. Even in rolls that you need to put to the knife yourself first before being able to roll them. But in fairness it is all to much of a bother, I want my cigarettes quick and easy.
Quote from: OneLove on 17 July, 2023, 17:06:07
bumming a smoke was fine back in the day, but not now at these prices
Right? And it's not like they can't just by one super cheap cigarette for 50 centavos (10 american cents) at any bar...
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Any way I ought to put my normie look to use while I still have it... I found some winter flings but not that winter love I wanted.
Quote from: OneLovebumming a smoke was fine back in the day, but not now at these prices
Yeah, it became very expensive here, too. We went from roughly $5 for a pack of 20 all the way up to the equivalent of $8 for the same pack in just four years. And that's precisely why I opted for the rollin' cause you can't smoke any cheaper. It's like some $6 for 30 grams of tobacco plus like fifty cents for 100 papes and roughly the same amount for 100 filters, so you get like something around the mark of fifty cigarettes for $7 give or take.
:P
To the imaginary reader of this later.
May I find you in good health.
I have, after long consideration, made the executive decision that when the time comes for me to make my glorious return to the city, I shall do so with a pink hair. It was also decided that I, being someone with an ever decreasing amount of free time, shall dedicate myself with extra gusto to the search of some hot guy to fall for this winter, it is my stated desire to have some heartbreaking depart when the moment comes for me to leave and I shall content myself with no less.
Yours always.
Nyarlathotep, that crawling chaos.
Your new plumage should be an asset in your quest. ;)
Almost went out today, but instead we went all for a pizza rodizio... worth it, I can always go out tomorrow.
A rodizio is a place you go, pay and the restaurant never stop serving you. You just sit and they keep bring you pizzas of many kind. The objective with me is always to try and eat enough to bring financial ruin to the place, I'm never successful at it but I keep trying.
I haven't being to one of these since I moved out.
As a denizen of the country that perfected the concept of "all-you-can-eat", I understand.
The key to a successful buffet trip is to not waste your time with carbs. That's just filler. So no bread, no potatoes, no rice, no pasta; go straight for the entrees. That's how you get your money's worth.
Pizza buffets are a little different. Can't really cut out the filler as much since everything is on crust already. So go for thin crust only, if there's an option. Thick crust will fill you up too fast. Then go for variety of toppings. Just to mix it up. :tongue
Quote from: on the rocks on 22 July, 2023, 00:10:57
As a denizen of the country that perfected the concept of "all-you-can-eat", I understand.
The key to a successful buffet trip is to not waste your time with carbs. That's just filler. So no bread, no potatoes, no rice, no pasta; go straight for the entrees. That's how you get your money's worth.
Not a buffet, Americans always have problem getting the concept. Even in trip videos in youtube they get the soul of the matter wrong, we have buffet here and it is a completely different deal. You don't self-service and there is not a set of pizzas to get.
You sit in a table and the restaurant make this big pizzas, they go table to table serving slices and you eat the ones you want. They never stop making the pizzas and they usually don't repeat the type of pizza. So you will be sitting and they will keep serving you, non-stop one after the other just out of the oven high-quality pizzas.
It is pretty expensive, specially when compared to the cheaper types of restaurant like buffets (self-service sem balança)
They do try to trick you with other types of food, but the common Brazilian is fully aware of this...
Quote from: on the rocks on 22 July, 2023, 00:10:57
Pizza buffets are a little different. Can't really cut out the filler as much since everything is on crust already. So go for thin crust only, if there's an option. Thick crust will fill you up too fast. Then go for variety of toppings. Just to mix it up
You don't chose the toppings, you can refuse to take a slice if you don't want that topping. But as I said they produce a lot of pizzas a keep serving everyone non-stop. You don't eat "old" pizza there, everything you eat has just being made...
I always eat thin crust, I think that's the norm here, some place like thick crusts like the city I live... But our thick crusts are very thin when compared to American crusts, at least the ones I see in movies or made in American fast food chains down here.
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Both Brazil and the US have a culture of excess. But we do it differently, the US like big portions of one food, while we usually go for big amount of different foods. Let me give you an example, the famous hot dog of São Paulo, the Dogão it has:
Season ground beef
Onions
Tomato paste
Cheese
Steamed corn
Shoestring potatoes
Shredded lettuce
Chopped parsley
Chopped olives
Mashed potatoes
Boiled Eggs
Sausages
Bread
I've never heard of sausages as a topping for hot dogs. I feel like that's something America should've invented: meat as a condiment. :lol
And yeah, I picked up on the way it's different from a buffet right away; I was just exploring the concept of "all-you-can-eat" in general. ;)
Quote from: on the rocks on 22 July, 2023, 17:38:29
I've never heard of sausages as a topping for hot dogs. I feel like that's something America should've invented: meat as a condiment. :lol
And yeah, I picked up on the way it's different from a buffet right away; I was just exploring the concept of "all-you-can-eat" in general. ;)
I feel compelled to ask you, since Americans are the top guys for hot dog lore. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Please share your wisdom with me.
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I went out Saturday, fuck I was hangovered yesterday. It was punk night at the local night house, so I went out to get drunk before because only dumb people waste money on overpriced shit. By the time I got there I was already incredibly drunk and I met a guy who sneaked in some cognac, so I don't even think there is a word for how hammered I was when I left there. Well anyway, I got a date with the guy this Tuesday.
Quote from: nyarlaBy the time I got there I was already incredibly drunk and I met a guy who sneaked in some cognac, so I don't even think there is a word for how hammered I was when I left there. Well anyway, I got a date with the guy this Tuesday.
Well, congratulations?!? That certainly is one way to meet nice people I guess.
:P
Quote from: hoefler on 24 July, 2023, 12:56:53
Well, congratulations?!? That certainly is one way to meet nice people I guess.
Oh no man, you don't congratulate people on drinking a bottle of Presidente, that shit is vile brother. Even if it lead to a hookup, drinking that is bottom of the wheel. If I wasn't that drunk I would not have drank, it takes a very special type of alcohol for people to only consider it when already drunk.
Quote from: nyarla on 24 July, 2023, 12:55:20
I feel compelled to ask you, since Americans are the top guys for hot dog lore. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Please share your wisdom with me.
I'm totally on Team Sandwich when it comes to hot dogs. Or any other sausage served on a bun.
Quote from: nyarla on 24 July, 2023, 12:55:20
I went out Saturday, fuck I was hangovered yesterday. It was punk night at the local night house, so I went out to get drunk before because only dumb people waste money on overpriced shit. By the time I got there I was already incredibly drunk and I met a guy who sneaked in some cognac, so I don't even think there is a word for how hammered I was when I left there. Well anyway, I got a date with the guy this Tuesday.
Up here we call that "pre-gaming" when you drink before you go out drinking to a bar or concert or whatever. Because yeah, they charge too much inside.
Quote from: nyarla on 21 July, 2023, 21:26:46
Almost went out today, but instead we went all for a pizza rodizio... worth it, I can always go out tomorrow.
A rodizio is a place you go, pay and the restaurant never stop serving you. You just sit and they keep bring you pizzas of many kind. The objective with me is always to try and eat enough to bring financial ruin to the place, I'm never successful at it but I keep trying.
I haven't being to one of these since I moved out.
Ah, a version of my favorite establishment, ala Brazilian Steak House. Now I am feeling the need to over imbibe in various meats.
Too bad churrascarias are so expensive. There's some time since I felt that wonderful feeling of barely being able to move after eating an obscene amount of meat.
I'm back in the city, so I guess this is the last one to sink the threat.
It was awesome to be back and have a chance to be a normal human for sometime. Some time to relax really make a difference.
I got myself a few guys, but not that winter love. Guess I was aiming too high, well it was fun anyway.
I loved spending time with my brother, seen how he developed so far. Chatting with people online ain't the same as being there talking to them personally. What an awesome guy he is turning into, not very smart though... but hey intelligence ain't everything. Wish I could call him to visit me, but it would be unfair to drag him into all of this. He is from a different world.
I'm going to miss the silence, the sun and the calm, but the misty weather and cosmopolitan lifestyle also have it's allures. I'm already feeling my creativity starting to perk up again.
So I guess that's that. Go to the deep now topic! And may you find your rest there.
I hope you find time for further visits.