News From The Deep

[nyarla]

 It seems now that I only come here to give small updates or post at random topics. My life lately is no longer compatible with anything online, to expensive to have a connection.

I've already got what I need to finish this semester so I'm taking a break two weeks early. One more year and I will have my degree and maybe some stability. But for now I'm back at my family home, took a "break" at work too so I'm going to expend almost 2 months here. Not that it really maters, my current job is more of a "commission pay" deal so I'm free to do what I want.

By the way should someone who doesn't know me be reading this. Hi I'm Nyarla, a terrible god from the abyss and occasional poster here on the community.
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Just arrive back at my hometown, but it's already morning so I will chose not to go to sleep and stead create an update post here at good old PSC. The song of the morning birds and the smell of my hometown are a truly inspiring. So I guess I will leave this here as a diary to record and share whatever I feel like sharing.
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The people I'm living with often reminisce about their past and their old home with sadness, as if life before what we got now was magical and better in every way, even though not a single one of us there had a "good childhood" in anyway.
But every time I come back here to my family home all I can feel is happiness at the freedom I'm enjoying now. Yeah life is much, much harder. But at the same time it feels more real, more mine, I can fail without worrying to disappoint anyone and I'm free to fail too. And since I live with people who also "fail" a lot it gives a better sense of community and family.

I can see now that this life here [my hometown] was never truly me, it was just a placeholder until my real self could be realized in full. Wish I knew that before, I would had being a less bitter teen and not had put those close to me through so much back there. But guess some lessons only come with the wisdom of age.

I'm also pretty excited at all the food here. Two month of free meals, can't even believe it.
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That's that for now.

[TooLittleTime]

Ahhh, that all sounds so relaxing. Changes can be refreshing, especially when certain burdens like feeding yourself are removed

As an older person it's hard to not reminisce about the past, because we tend to minimize the bad things and highlight the good. And more than anything life always seems simpler then, even if it wasn't!

[nyarla]

Ahhh, that all sounds so relaxing. Changes can be refreshing, especially when certain burdens like feeding yourself are removed

I got so used with a less than ideal amount of food that I'm sure I'm still not eating as much I could. Not that I'm not eating, I've being on a constant state of snacking since yesterday, but I should focus on larger meals.

As an older person it's hard to not reminisce about the past, because we tend to minimize the bad things and highlight the good. And more than anything life always seems simpler then, even if it wasn't!

Simple ain't always good and I don't think I will ever remember the bad old times fondly. But I guess that means I need to build myself something to be nostalgic now, or maybe it means I will never age and am now immortal.
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Day 2

Haven't done much today, what is good, the whole point of being here is to do nothing. I'm planning on watching some movies this Friday with my brother, maybe smoke some joints with him... I'm not into weed that much anymore, but getting high may be one of the few things I am still better at than he and the universe demands that I reassert my older brother dominance some way.
The new cat does not like me.

[on the rocks]

I'm planning on watching some movies this Friday with my brother, maybe smoke some joints with him... I'm not into weed that much anymore, but getting high may be one of the few things I am still better at than he and the universe demands that I reassert my older brother dominance some way.

It'll at least perk up your appetite.

Nice to see you again, nyarla.
Visiting the home town gets weirder as time goes on.  You realize things like, "They don't even have a... <insert thing about new city you like>"
Or like, "I never noticed how ugly most people are around here."

I don't know that I'd ever go to the town I grew up in if my parents didn't live there still.  Well, maybe to go fishing.

[nyarla]

Nice to see you again, nyarla.
Visiting the home town gets weirder as time goes on.  You realize things like, "They don't even have a... <insert thing about new city you like>"
Or like, "I never noticed how ugly most people are around here."

I don't know that I'd ever go to the town I grew up in if my parents didn't live there still.  Well, maybe to go fishing.

I will let you know my hometown people is quite good looking, with the exception of the old people, they look like they survived some shit.
I missed PSC, glad to be back, for now.

[Katou]

It's good to have a place like this to come back to, a safe haven, I hope that even after I go back to work I'll continue to find time for those breaks with the family. PS. food that tastes like childhood is always good lol

[nyarla]

It's good to have a place like this to come back to, a safe haven, I hope that even after I go back to work I'll continue to find time for those breaks with the family. PS. food that tastes like childhood is always good lol

It is isn't it? Why can't food keep that magical taste it had when we were young?! Maybe it's the microwave, or the fact it's almost unsafe to eat industrialized garbage kkkkkkkk
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Talking about safe heavens, yesterday while my friends back in the concrete labyrinth where having quite the apocalyptic weather I was resting calmly under the sun enjoying the beach.
It's weird, time is suppose to go faster when you're having fun... But here it almost looks like time doesn't pass at all.

[nyarla]

 What a nice weekend, there's being some time since I had a relaxing time like this. I would usually associate a certain level of insanity with having a good weekend but sometimes you don't really need much to enjoy yourself.

[Katou]

It is isn't it? Why can't food keep that magical taste it had when we were young?! Maybe it's the microwave, or the fact it's almost unsafe to eat industrialized garbage kkkkkkkk
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Talking about safe heavens, yesterday while my friends back in the concrete labyrinth where having quite the apocalyptic weather I was resting calmly under the sun enjoying the beach.
It's weird, time is suppose to go faster when you're having fun... But here it almost looks like time doesn't pass at all.

Maybe because there were only pieces of sky, cracks between the buildings, and now there's a huge sky for the sun to walk through and that's why it takes longer lol

[nyarla]

Maybe because there were only pieces of sky, cracks between the buildings, and now there's a huge sky for the sun to walk through and that's why it takes longer lol

That may actually be it, I've read a few things about how luminosity affects the functioning of ones Circadian rhythm. It would be interesting to test out how living in a city alters a person notion of time, one of my friends is doing medicine and is into that type of shit, altered perception and all that. I'm texting her right now.
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There's this club here in my hometown that used to be a unofficial meeting spot for young gay people and I say used because now is an official gay club.
Well I talked to two people today who expressed how much they support the place and I have two questions about it;
Where were they when I was a teen? not supporting me that's where;
And why do they think I would be interested in knowing their opinion about a place I haven't being to in almost 4 years?

Anyway my dumb 17yo brother has classes during the week and I don't have any friends here anymore so I guess I'm visiting that club this night... Maybe I will even find myself some winter love or someone my age to talk too... Guess I'm a little bored already.

[Katou]

A hectic place within a calm environment, I think it's a good mix, yes, experience what it's like to enjoy the night without having to worry about what happens at work, solving problems, it's like being a teenager again lol, you've already passed over there at night?

[nyarla]

A hectic place within a calm environment, I think it's a good mix, yes, experience what it's like to enjoy the night without having to worry about what happens at work, solving problems, it's like being a teenager again lol, you've already passed over there at night?

Oh yeah I did. I spend yesterday morning in someone else's place actually. Had one hell of a hangover later too.
The place is a lot better now than last time I've being there, they may have a different owner cause the place was never this clean before.

[Katou]

That makes a big difference lol, found your winter love?

[nyarla]

That makes a big difference lol, found your winter love?

I found one yes, but further experimentation is necessary to confirm the attempt was a success.

[nyarla]

 I'm having the first full nights of sleep this year. Weird, it feels like my body forgot how it work, I will still wake a few times and the post sleep drowsiness will last a for a long time. The good thing is that in that cycle of waking up and going back to sleep I'm acquiring a certain control over my dreams, it is not lucid dreaming, but I can usually think about something before going to back to sleep and that will be the dream.

I'm adding architect of dreams to my many tittles now.
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I call one of the guys that live with me "our cult leader", because he is always saying something deep or extremely cheese and he is the one that keep us from turning on each other, I think he just do too much shrooms, he is kinda of a "father" figure for our group of maladjusted.
So anyway my mother bought a lil door plaque with the single most cringe engraving I ever saw and the words on it sounds like the type of shit my friend usually says, so I'm bursting into laughter every time I see it.