Share your euphemisms to masturbation *NO BAD LANGUAGE!*

[SoccerKid]

A) 5vs1 match
B) Grease the pipe
C) Flute solo
D) Ménage à moi
E) Goal with two balls

[Robotboy]

jerk off, jack off, wank

[on the rocks]

"Fire off some knuckle children"

[Driver247]

Choke your chicken!
Thumbalinna and her four sisters
Beat your meat
Wank your Willie

[geekboy]

Polish the sword, slap the salami, visit Rosey Palm and her five friends, saber practice.

[indeepdaddy]

Shuckin the corn
Tossin the salad
slappin the slouvaki
rolling the tamale
strokin the stromboli

hey I'm a food guy.

[nyarla]

Spanking the monkey
Five against one
Playing the meat flute
Disheveling the clown

[RogerTheShrubber]

whaaat? how come no one mentioned "fap" yet? 

[nyarla]

whaaat? how come no one mentioned "fap" yet? 

That's because we are a sophisticated bunch here. We prefer more meaningful and poetic terms like "strokin the stromboli" shared but the good sir, mister indeepdaddy. 

[DropsOfJupiter]

Yea I have some extreme politeness rules that prevent me from using anything terribly gross. "Finishing girl time" is the most edgy thing I can call it.

[on the rocks]

Flog the bishop
(referring to the shape of the chess piece)

[PampersLover]

I called it humping among my friends before we knew dirtier words.

[InnocentOne]

Husband says flogging the dolphin, I say flicking my bean

[TooLittleTime]

"Butt Play" said by a 9yo girl once. Because she called her crotch her 'small butt".

[SecondChance]

I "tickle my fancy". 😁