Watching porn with SO

[Beach_Beacon]

Just looking for any advice with a silly problem I have. tl:dr version: I want to watch adult porn with my SO but it makes me scared, LOL.

As a young adult pedo I was pretty shy about expressing desires to my adult partners. I think I just kept too many of my preferences a secret because I was used to keeping my attraction to kids a secret. Nowadays I feel much more comfortable sharing my desires, even ones that are taboo, and my SO has also become kinkier. She recently said that she wanted to watch porn together with me. She knows I have a lot of adult porn.

We've done it a few times and it's been enjoyable, but I still feel awkward about showing her videos, maybe because it's something I've done in private for so long. I seem to feel oversensitive about it. It's strange.

She's into kinky porn, but I worry about showing her something that turns her off. And just managing the timing of it - do we watch porn after dinner? In between Seinfeld reruns? During Seinfeld reruns? Do we need to bring the laptop to bed?

Maybe these are silly questions but it's been keeping me up at night, I don't have many other people I can ask about the logistics of sharing hardcore pornography. And so I would appreciate any thoughts, insights or even a joke at my expense.

[LuvPWomen]

Since she is specifically asking for it, you should simply overcome your embarrassment and just go for it I don't think it will take many minutes before you will both be focusing on something entirely different than embarrassment!

Good luck

[Matthew1914]

We've done it a few times and it's been enjoyable, but I still feel awkward about showing her videos, maybe because it's something I've done in private for so long. I seem to feel oversensitive about it. It's strange.

Yep, that seems accurate. There is certainly a social stigma surrounding porn. It has become much more mainstream in the last few decades. But, it is always associated with seedy, dirty, unacceptable activities and kept in the shadows and the "bad" parts of town. I understand your consternation.

But, she brought it up. So, I think you have a lot of leeway. It is probable that, if she does not like something, she will let you know. I would personally be thrilled if my SO suggested it. My advice is: Just go with it. You have a big collection. I am sure you do not remember everything that is in there. Yes, something may go too far. But, you could also discover a whole new world of shared interests. Imagine the possibilities...

An interesting aspect of porn is that it acts like a drug: the more you do, the bigger, more extreme dose you need next time. I would tend to say that is not desirable. But, in this case, it could work to your advantage. If the vanilla stuff starts becoming ho-hum, take it up a notch. Who knows how deep you could dig, bit-by-bit...

[on the rocks]

And just managing the timing of it - do we watch porn after dinner? In between Seinfeld reruns? During Seinfeld reruns? Do we need to bring the laptop to bed?

Maybe these are silly questions but it's been keeping me up at night, I don't have many other people I can ask about the logistics of sharing hardcore pornography. And so I would appreciate any thoughts, insights or even a joke at my expense.

The best scenario is to hook up your laptop or whatever to a TV in the bedroom so you've got a big screen and a comfy place to do it.
Then remember this line from a song by The Bloodhound Gang like a million years ago:
"Then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files."

[BigJohn]

My advice (a stranger on the internet) is to take the laptop to bed with you guys and watch stuff from PornHub.
Put it on one side of the bed and then you spoon them and have them choose the videos that you watch together.
That way you get the intimacy of cuddling, you get to see the kind of things that they are interested in and as things start to heat up you are in a great position to start fondling them.

[PampersLover]

My advice (a stranger on the internet) is to take the laptop to bed with you guys and watch stuff from PornHub.
Put it on one side of the bed and then you spoon them and have them choose the videos that you watch together.
That way you get the intimacy of cuddling, you get to see the kind of things that they are interested in and as things start to heat up you are in a great position to start fondling them.

Have to agree with BigJohn on this one. Her guiding it while spooning and cuddling is sensual beyond belief and as you both get more aroused it'll enable her to delve into things that are more different, unique, and hopefully kinky. From there the sky is the limit!

...that or *during* Seinfeld.

[LikelyHuman]

I remember feeling the same way, but then I likened it to listening to music and worrying what she would think about some song I liked. So, like that, if something came on and it seemed like she wasn't feeling it, I would just ask her if she wanted to skip it. That way it makes it seem like you're not invested in it. But there's always the risk that she is, and in you asking if she wants to skip it, she thinks you're not into it when she is. In any case, just watch the shit on suggested and let things autoplay. It creates a little bit of, "Well, I'm not that into it, it's just the algorithms," but you can also get a feel for what she may also like and steer it towards stuff.

[DropsOfJupiter]

Maybe I am doing it wrong, but I thought half of the point was that if you are already having sex with a person you can watch whatever you want without feeling weird?

[Max1]

Maybe I am doing it wrong, but I thought half of the point was that if you are already having sex with a person you can watch whatever you want without feeling weird?

SOunds right to me Plus it is alot of fun sometimes as well

[Beach_Beacon]

Thanks for all the advice! I appreciate all your posts, even if I don't directly respond. It's just a weird little problem I have, even just discussing it here has helped me overcome my anxiety a bit.

The best scenario is to hook up your laptop or whatever to a TV in the bedroom so you've got a big screen and a comfy place to do it.

I think you're right. We got rid of the TV in the bedroom a while ago in an attempt to improve sleep. Considering it hasn't improved sleep, I think I could bring it back in.

But, she brought it up. So, I think you have a lot of leeway. It is probable that, if she does not like something, she will let you know. I would personally be thrilled if my SO suggested it. My advice is: Just go with it. You have a big collection. I am sure you do not remember everything that is in there. Yes, something may go too far. But, you could also discover a whole new world of shared interests. Imagine the possibilities...

An interesting aspect of porn is that it acts like a drug: the more you do, the bigger, more extreme dose you need next time. I would tend to say that is not desirable. But, in this case, it could work to your advantage. If the vanilla stuff starts becoming ho-hum, take it up a notch. Who knows how deep you could dig, bit-by-bit...

I'm imagining the possibilities ... It really does help to try to have a more positive attitude about it. And I have to remind myself that her making funny comments doesn't mean she doesn't like it. I'm just so used to it being a solo activity.

I do like showing her kinkier and kinkier stuff. But my collection isn't exactly organized, which makes it a bit tricky, it's just an embarrassingly big folder of porn. She really liked an amateur vid of a woman getting double penetration in her pussy. Definitely open minded. I shouldn't be so worried.

My advice (a stranger on the internet) is to take the laptop to bed with you guys and watch stuff from PornHub.
Put it on one side of the bed and then you spoon them and have them choose the videos that you watch together.
That way you get the intimacy of cuddling, you get to see the kind of things that they are interested in and as things start to heat up you are in a great position to start fondling them.

Thank you BigJohn and PampersLover, I think this is The Way. I needed this practical advice and encouragement.

Maybe I am doing it wrong, but I thought half of the point was that if you are already having sex with a person you can watch whatever you want without feeling weird?

Well, I think you're doing it right. I know there are a lot of healthy couples out there who enjoy pornography together and have good communication when it comes to sex.

For me it's been a struggle to be more open with my kinks. Sort of like anxiety, feeling shameful about any unusual preferences. Being a pedo didn't help, because it's something I got used to hiding from everyone, so hiding less-taboo kinks just seemed natural.

It wasn't until I realized how closed-off I'd become that I made a concerted effort to be more sexually open, and it's mostly been working out well. At this point there's not much anxiety/shame left. There's just little things like "how do I share porn" that I overthink sometimes. How to introduce new experiences in a managed way, instead of going in blind. So it helps me to discuss it here with very open minded people!

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