Society's brutal rejection of me is why I'm a pedophile celibate

[Lolicon]

(Advisory: long post.)

It's been several years since I last made a post on this forum.

Time passes me by, but the particular 2013-era thread was so unforgettable that I log in intermittently once in a long while just to re-read the true daddy-9yo seducing daughter incest love story to masturbate to. That can be found here for your pleasure, below.

http://onion.tor.my/forum/index.php?topic=4560.0

Anyway, since my last posts were about witnessing a beautiful almost 3 year old blonde niece, fresh from taking a bathtub, who got naked, pulling a bath towel to her chest, in front of me to sit beside me on the coach and she calmly masturbated that shocked me, I return to report that my three nieces -- two white daughters (10yo the naughty girl, 8yo) of my sister and one 7yo biracial (asian-white) daughter of another sister -- have grown up into the beautiful young ladies, but my interest lies in my two white nieces.

The other niece is in her world of Harry Potter and piano training and other talents to develop, not to mention the fact her parents are rich. 

Here is why I prefer to stay celibate, as least in regards to the rule of no-contact with any underage preteen and tween (my preference) girl.

1) I'm always a social reject. I'm not bad looking but I always struggle with success. I always depend on the fixed income and hustling for some crappy gig jobs. I always take the abuse as a rideshare driver with one gig brand firing me after rider's malicious report after only one week since joining, and the other with occasional star rating bomb and complaints about my driving style that could get me fired as deactivated someday. I learn from the noted complaints to improve my interaction and considerably careful driving skills.

This society hate me so much I'm a recluse as a shut-in in my home most of the time. I go out just to go to the grocery store for food and necessaries then return home to waste time browsing Youtube on my smart tv or browsing the Internet on my laptop to read the news and masturbate to hardcore adult porn.

CP is accessible sometimes on Tor, but it's so slow (some onion sites down or dead) that I pause to take long breaks intermittently before returning to see if CP forums work without the snail pace download.

Most of the time CP video and picture posts have the dead links as quickly taken down, even with the tools designed to defeat the bots and antipedo activists reporting the links within a day of CP posts.

Sometimes I resort to reading text-based child sex stories, preferably true, which is why I come here to read the new stories and the aforementioned true loving father daughter story post by "pleasantdaddy" to masturbate to.

Moreover, there is an amazing proliferation of self-made CP videos and photo sets, especially by the horny naughtier girls from Eastern Europe (Russia and Ukraine). This is proof children are indeed interested in sex and even demand it but they're always secretive and surreptitious.

2) I fear of being busted to go to jail/prison if I'm caught touching my nieces or any LG. This is one of the major reasons for my celibacy and I prefer to stay it that way.

LG may feel sexual (like my aforementioned horny niece who got naked to masturbate beside me on the coach), but she is capable of telling her parent or relative what I did to get me in trouble, and it can be life ruining. I surmise even my nieces are trained by their parents of "stranger danger", and this is why my relationship with my nieces is a little strained, even with the same niece who jilled who avoids interacting with me as a little suspicious.

It's better to mitigate the risk of being busted to face the harsh justice system (not to mention the media and sex offender registry and background check that ruin life with chronic unemployment due to opprobrium) by remaining a celibate. Maybe except for a LB or LG who behave seductively toward me with the sworn promise not to tell a secret to their parents, relatives, and even siblings and friends.   

3) Repeating point 1, sort of.

This society hates me so much with its frequent abuse of me (e.g. workplace bullying when I had the jobs, being rejected for labor jobs for various reasons that include prejudice against me for having "disabilities" [I'm able-bodied], and rude and nasty riders and delivery customers shitting on me to blame or bully) that viewing and reading CP is my refuge, as an act of defiance against the bullshit society that's self-centered and corrupt with its hypocrisies (moral, political, work "ethics", etc).

My devotion to consumption of CP is my secret as defiant, with the inherent high risks of being caught.

I frequently read the new and recent roll of stories of busts of child molesters (at least, sexual abuse of children) and CP users -- the latter low-hanging fruits for being so stupid it's inevitable they got caught such as torrent, uploading to clear net/mobile social media apps, member of CP ring in social media apps or leaving cp on their devices unlocked like smartphones and tablets -- to remind me of the constant danger of being caught that leads to the severe dire repercussions that literally means a shitty worthless life as the death of self, never to get a job again and even to be exiled in the community with sex offender residency laws.

The possible exception to my bearing the blunt of the cruel and self-absorbed society's hatred is to see the sweet, happy and innocuous children (preferably white LG as the most attractive specimen) run around in play outdoors while I drive by and whenever I walk my visiting sister's dog during the warmer days. Even see them walk home alone or in a group, always looking joyful, from the nearby schools.   

4) This society has so much contempt for me from my experience that last year, after being rejected by a beautiful young biracial adult girl (25 year difference) at the nearby shop despite her flirting with me, I feel that I must emerge a pedophile.

But I always keep it a secret to avoid even being banned by my own family for the fear of molesting my nieces (I don't intend to and never will, but from an admiring distance, even masturbating to consensual sex fantasies).

If I had not been rejected by women (because they have the ridiculously high standards where I live), I would be less of a pedophile as repressed.

Even if I do become a father of the daughter(s), I don't even want to risk getting caught touching or making love to daughter.

Unless, under the favorable circumstances, either I'm lucky to have a secret "pedomom" wife (there was an amazing thread by "cooldaddy" or another name from Germany that was posted on Magic Kingdom before the forum was terminated as shut down -- he caught his wife making love to their 4 year old daughter and since then they have been having family sex with 3 daughters who are also involved in zoophilia with dogs and allegedly horses/ponies), or a horny daughter who seduces me to demand love and wild sex, like the lucky poster "pleasantdaddy" and his brother who has a nymphomaniac 12yo daughter -- horny since she was 8 -- who taught the cousin to seduce her father "pleasantdaddy". 

Oh, I dream of having a pedowife and our focus on conceiving the daughters to raise and be a happy secret incestuous family.

But this society isn't letting me even have a chance with a woman. This is why I never had a girlfriend in my life, and I'm close to 50 years old. Indeed, I'm a born loser.

But suffice it to say that at least some LG aren't stuck up and hypercritical, and they can be sweet and enquiring. I want to have a relationship with a LG who might seduce me after a while of knowing each other, or even fall in love with me, but because of societal restrictions with the relationship being verboten/taboo, she might have to wait patiently for me when she finishes high school and turn 18 to then marry me and be fruitful to multiply.

One such example of CP star who would have a (edit: imaginable as hypothetical) relationship with me growing up to marry me is "Dasha the Gamer Girl" (American I think -- not Russian girl with similar CP video file name). Those of you who recognize this CP selfie girl, yes, she's hot and desperately horny, and she's now a teen.

Anyway, screw the depraved and hypocritical society, for treating me like crap, which has been the case ever since I held my first job outside of a newspaper delivery boy (when I was bullied on the street by boys who fought me for amusement).

Despite my occasional shame especially my addiction to CP since I discovered it on the Usenet (RIP due to spam flood rendering it useless) in 1997, I am a proud pedophile, because I am awed at the innocence and beauty and raw sexuality of preteens, tweens and lolitas.

My awe at children's sweet disposition and happiness intertwined with sexuality without shame is why I continue to live as a celibate pedophile who can only see and watch in secret admiration and go home to masturbate to my fantasies of being seduced by and making love to little girls (and still access CP sites to download latest hot CP videos/pics by horny girls and reading hot true stories of sexual experience with consenting girls despite Tor's horrible and unreliable slow connections for reasons such as DDOS by antipedo lunatics), rather than give up as in suicide attempt because of my feeling of worthlessness as an outcast.

Fuck the society; love the little girls.   

[Moon Child]

This is a lot to unpack but I hear you. I hope you feel better after writing it down and reflecting on it.

As someone who can relate, I feel I have to be careful in how I reply. I don't want to sound critical or hypocritical. Only supportive.

I hate society too for what it's doing to us. However, here's what I have learnt - hating society doesn't help. It only drives us further away and deeper in.
If you're anything like me, you might say: "Fuck it! So be it!" but beware, this only leads us further way to the darkest of places.

If you want that, really want that, nobody can stop you. But you're here instead, being heard. This is positive.

[TooLittleTime]

"I hate society too for what it's doing to us. However, here's what I have learnt - hating society doesn't help. It only drives us further away and deeper in.

Very well said Moon Child.

[LarrySexton]

While I do agree and hate the way society sees and treats us, blaming and an rejecting society will only lead to isolation and depression. At least right now you have this place to discuss your desires and fantasies without judgement.
Unfortunately incest, "family love", pedophilia will probably never be accepted in our life time. I've learned over the years to just accept that these fantasies and attraction are just part of me and my sexuality.
I'm lucky that I also have an attraction to adult women and that I've never had problems finding an adult partner  but I do understand how being rejected numerous times can feel frustrating and isolating. The only advice I can give you is to try to meet woman more around your age range and find similar interests that are not related to children. Trying to find a partner to start a pedo family probably isn't the best or healthiest approach to finding a partner.

Anyways Welcome back to the forum and hopefully this place helps you feel a little better about yourself

[Dnalrig]

I don't hate society. It is what it is. And moreover, often society has double standards: one official, mainstream (and often hysterical) discourse and one much more pragmatic. Of course, there's nothing you can do to defend yourself when mainstream hysteria catches you in its spotlights, you'll be lynched on the spot. That's why I don't chase girls, but only respond when one comes to me (which almost never happens), so that at least I have something to defend me with or that allows me to appeal to the more pragmatic standard. Maybe that's an illusion, but still, that's how I handle it.

So, I don't hate society. I think society is hypocrite, and try to find a way to use that to my advantage, something that probably sounds more cunning than it actually is.

[LarrySexton]

I agree with you about society being hypocrites. Some of most popular porn search terms are step daughter/brother/mother/father porn and barely legal or some variations of that. There are probably so many more people that are attracted to younger people than most of society want to admit.

[LewisCarrol_Jr]

Don't give up hope, Lolcon.   You have friends here.  I hope you can slowly make things better.  I know it's crushing to be so rejected by society.   

[nudistm-charly]

As sai before, society is very hypocrit. But we have to live with it. So manby people like to see young nude kids and young teens.
Stay interorly proud of being a pedo, because attraction and sexual attraction to kids is normal, and when the kids feels sexual attraction to an adult it is so beautiful. Without violence, sex with all ages is good and normal!